Seven days til Christmas...

Showtime: spare wheel gate keeping

Late writing thank yous to SEs & drawing a giant Santa. Bit pissed in the process, which has got to stop.

Games list done, as are lesson plans for January here.

Madge did a nice job, others look stressed.

A safe environment

Trying to snow, and forgot raincoat. Left to myself on the gate, crazy lady said hello again (street side). Scary scenes in Sydney late last night.

Legs11's class for 1st time since Little i toppled over.

But dress rehearsal red/yellow/blue = shivering in a corner at the back trying to think of something interesting (and failing) instead; all the jobs I couldn't do last night & can't do now ( last night a rant about Identica again).

Fast lunch; cold feet & shivering

I really like the look of Orchard Toys' catalogue of games...

Showtime

Momo minus Minnie & Chi in cute costumes; iLeader coping with three jobs stage manager, director/narrator & pianist!

Red as farmyard animals & wolves; paper hats & bin bag jackets. Allan all arms flapping & cranky disobedient boy on the end; Cosmo glaring.

Madge efficient & drilled. Crabs, chestnut & bees, a growing tree & oranges, pictures in boxes stuck to chairs, lots of entrances & dialogue about onigiri?

Fski frantic; very nice costumes from wrapping fabric? Old village scene & Napoleon etc samurai - boys with swords. Dance for Wataru's foxy mum to wet her knickers with.

Legs11 gives kids warmth & 'can do', all ready & waiting early. Felt hats & handheld props, about a shoe shop. Blessed ALL kids in her class able to take part - and not dead little i-chan. Triangle the cue not chords.

Choriso's underwater adventure my fave. Big props & funky costumes; nicest class too. Sets them up with big smiling practice & praise - last on stage & last show. Fave = red & yellow dotted conical hats. Boss with sound effects (dried peas in a box lid!) scenery changes nice. Big smiles side stage as she leads the dance; very encouraging - as all do, confident children are able on their own.

Boss hungover; diarrhea yesterday. Looks like it too; needs to up his game. Chief subdued, giving whispers to teachers (even me with message from Big Yin).

In the end, after all the hyperbole, English input was naught.

Dancing Elves

Jim Time really good with Madge joining in & setting the mood. I took the piss out of the nose pickers & thumb suckers. They loved the SANTA letters falling down, & second (original) "What do you want for Xmas" version better. Made an Aura very quickly AND it worked across devices! Shocked silence as SANTA sang "We wish you a Merry Xmas" back at them!

Lunch = pinched to sit in red class, next to boy being aggro after his mum had another baby. Hard time to adjust.

Madge made origami Xmas trees, not had time to snapguide it yet.

Lunch & prep time drawing SANTA & letters/lyrics, some hilarity with Dancing Elves app (esp. Boss suited & booted). Boss & Dragon laughed their tits off! (Copy & paste faces into a video).

How's the weather? Muddy!

Muddy yard, and moved into red (make up for Fri). Allan stressed & bossy, Cosmo in shop-steward mode. Seems all the young miscreants in her class - shouty boys, stroppy ones, punchy ones & nose pickers.

Buddy the Frog

In the wrong class (green) but nobody noticed. Play practice in room = chat time outside with Bacardi. In the hall was even more boring.

Took off early to go find Juan. His thing was great fun; kids & teachers enjoyed 40 minutes of profound & cross-cultural silliness! Goodbyes at gate was funny. Everyone suitably happy.

Very relieved & grateful this came off.

Proper review over on Luna's blog, Facebook & Flickr.

Stranger Danger

A young woman very touchy-feely in the yard with multiple kids. thought she was an unidentified mum at first. Chief expediently called end of playtime & UFO vanished (back to the hospital, she thought. Any peril? Best not take the chance & find out the hard way.

Snow flurries all the way here, & continuing. Chief chatty (but blue?) & gave me a coffee while a class practicing in the hall. Much better option. She's making a silk ball for Juan. In class, legs11 involves me with telling the date & weather, ok which she warns everyone tomorrow will be even colder - minus something when we wake up. The horror!

Y apparently did listen yesterday & started to negotiate with Boss wrt schedule 2015/staffing, and thought about price. Asks me to hire domestically, now, familiar with Japan etc...as she doesn't want to be here all the time (why would that be?). I flat out refused to countenance idea I do any more, as it is killing me. Put on weight, drinking late while trying to catch up, can't do must do stuff, don't get to email & don't plan any lessons/follow up properly, spend time here stressed about Luna classes, junk food wrong hours for snacks & too much booze.

Rant over.

Stodgy lunch = I was last to finish on my table ;(  Straight to the bog!

Offered more coffee while prepping Jim Xmas Time. iLeader already made cards. Surprised myself drawing semi-decent Santa face for SANTA song, as well as nice A4 letters. Awesome me, later embedded a Chatterkid video of me singing 1st verse with Aurasma. Left Santa up with message, he's watching you.

Dec Jim Xmas Time 

1. Hello Hello clap your hands intro song + TPR

2. SANTA song to Bingo tune + gestures, letters on wall.

3. What do you want for Xmas (Xmas version) - ball, yo-yo, bike...

4. Chairs for tables + crayons, 

draw what you want for Xmas & colour Santa. 

Asked Legs11 1st, she wants a car. 

Time limit, and we write names on each & fold for them. 

Blank inside = too bad - didn't plan that bit.

5. Other version What do you want for Xmas (rocket etc) with actions

6. We wish you a Merry Christmas - words on wall

And it is still trying to snow.

The spare wheel syndrome

Yesterday a dull game in the yard, feeling sleepy. Watching Allan literally drag kids around the stage doing play practice; not the best respite. Can't keep eyes open.

Constant nose picking & lack of interest - obviously not myself!

Today, a lot of teacher effort going into complex skits and more immense nose-picking. Uninvolved & very distracted majority. Worth it - Fuji film? Been this way for a week already - and FA for me to do. 

Embarrassed by spare wheel feeling & looking surplus.

Earthquake, epilepsy & appendicitis

Bizarre that a major earthquake locally (Hakuba) only topic #3 for the weekend at the school gates, after seizure & appendicitis! Pity the money I earned last week proofreading into the early hours evaporates with hospital bills.

Utterly thrilled to see little 'I' walking to school - she off frothing gills & blue lips last time I saw her.

Morning in pink where Chi poor replacement for Minnie; puppet show entertained for 20 mins but very fidgety after that. Story lost me completely, and not interactive...stage set for Juan to bowl them over.

Choriso's class in the afternoon; somehow this rote repetition of lines for their show is effective? Uninvolved & far too distracted for my liking, but keeping out of the way.

An amazing teacher-save: perspective

Awesome reaction by Legs11 to a girl dropping like a sack of spuds with a seizure in the middle of a play rehearsal in. As first responder did everything right, quickly. Airway, recovery position, get help (send me), manage other 30 kids (GO to Choriso's class NOW) & kept calm.

Boss useful, iLeader fringe player as Legs11 in control; Dragon assumed lead with refugee kids in hall. Very reassuring performance (except me, unsure what role was or what the words were, where stuff was).

With reflection, astounded at how cool the teacher was, and how she got through the rest of the day. I did have 10 seconds to ask her about it later, and she had experienced something similar once and recognised the emergency. Her friends/colleagues were in awe. Apparently the girl had done this at home once before -'overheating'? Any which way you slice this one, teacher did an astounding job.

Earlier, very flat am as footy interest waning (Napoleon's fouls/hoofing the ball). Frost last two nights = time to prune the kiwi plants. Need secateurs. Pining for Poverty Bay, Jimbo?

Bento Day - totally forgot. Nice little walk to Lawson's.

Jim Time with insufficient cards 

Yesterday's LP too noisy because of the Janken

50% not enough cards

Bacardi not the most participative/noisy helper

 Lesson learned but K a permanent noisy, pushy pain,

Legs11 mostly kept in check

Using dummy mic encourages kids to focus, answer Q with a big voice

Also gives me a "I'm waiting for good behavior" prop. 

Tables in a circle, groups 5/6 kids 

Take turns to send a rep up to the front

Ask "How old are you?" Before taking a card, in a stack face down pinned to board. 

Show class, ask table "Do you want.....?" 

Wanting a full answer from group before releasing team rep. "Tummyache" card = too bad. 

Took 45 mins and found 3 winning groups

 lots of energy & English in context

reinforcing last Jim Time (spaghetti chant & broccoli ice cream)

Lack of cards due to iLeader not listening/having a dozen other jobs on her desktop & fires to put out...and again, no, I do not like other people doing my prep. Leads to situations like this, with pants around ankles and only realising half an hour too late.

What would John Snow say?

So the Juan plan is coming together; whole school in hall for 30 mins + local media :)

Glad I did not sweat on detailed lesson plans for December, as plan B immediately binned (one size fits all classes), Juan's day = shift of classess and refusing to some on 25th = obliged to hang around on 24th. Think I will make a deal out of collecting Santa from the North Pole!)

So, meeting this morning while Boss & his wife stuffed cash into envelopes - a lot of cash. I'd guess about ¥4m? Think they had Bangladesh's national debt on the table.

Following Bacardi's lead, as she has adopted 'How's the Weather' into morning routine. Did register, which kids always enjoy, 'one little finger'. Quick serve lunch, had fun with Satsuki & Sona, but cold despite wearing thermal legs for 1st time this winter.

Winter is Coming.

A kick in the nuts - lasts all day if you get it right

Footy this am not much cop, Napoleon as usual expecting everyone to give him the ball & let him wallop it from 3 feet. Twat. (I would have thought the same thing when I was his age, so I think the word is appropriate. Wrecks any sense on enjoyment for everybody else because he 'owns' the ball. It is not my place to directly adjust this state of play, but for the children to confront/negotiate a way out. I feel frustrated because even at my age I find this kind of in-your-face bully-boys hard to tackle. I have always gone around, using superior ball skills and vision. The got thumped on the bus.)

Green & listless with Fski; Sitting at the back as the uncoordinated boys misbehave, with added bollock-ache from a full-handed slap across the nads in the yard. Just the left one, but enough for general nausea & need for a lie down. Have I any use for them these days, though?

Stole lunchtime upstairs to refresh memory Super Simple Songs' Xmas playlist, need lesson plans for Dec. Think 3/4 of them should do the trick + video for Dec 24th show?

Some went apple picking, older other half went to see their next school. Not I. Find a place to be.
Going to try & get my Brazilian Don Juan here Dec 5th.

Guri & Gura - with a cold

Yesterday = streaming cold with 2 extra layers on. Little's class with Minnie, and felt welcome & mostly useful. Guri & Gura in J + E a first. Little ones into big class to sample the majors, meet Choriso etc

Couldn't wait to get home of this 1/2 day; caught 90 mins kip on sofa before my day job...bed before 9. Knackered.

Still not in great condition ( headache but no runny nose) & with Choriso = nice welcome. Jim Time without music (Madge needed her cord back) so a good job I actually know the songs! Also with cheerful student teacher Izumi - not the mental one that runs up to bow & shout onegaishimasu at me.

'Do you like bananas?' to chorus 

using f/cards instead of music

Yes/no faces again

homemade broccoli soup

Finished on time. 

Middle ones take +50% time drawing. 

Was quick & fun. 

1st Jim Corner requested; poster printing their names best I could think of.

Tokyo & Yamagata this w/end - and Dec lesson plans requested by next Thursday. Yes, I'll do that now (given it takes longer to translate & print. Yada.

Lest we forget

Earthquake practice at 9:50 very well done on the sly. Taken very seriously as teachers also caught on the hop. My only contribution = have all the class registrations done on iPads and upload over wifi instantly. Even if wifi down, all data on any of all devices handy. Teachers do not have to grab folders; anyone with a connected device has the data. They should also have Line &/or Messenger groups for emergencies like this (not a phone pyramid as that will crash/be disabled). Children suitably obedient and attentive.

In with Allan today, who has no clue what to do with me. Nothing new there; she's only had a year to come up with a strategy. Her kind of class is where the poor behaviour comes from; various ill-disciplined boys, grabby/shouty/pokey/gobby not managed/noticed/re-tuned.

Very unusually, Chi at the front of assembly (and bless, looked nervous), after flute-playing Izumi introduced - gasps of surprise all round!

Minnie already has plan for tomorrow - Kuri/Kura J/E versions found; good on her. Found 10 minutes to practice reading it so I can follow her lead and hopefully stress the same bits as her. She's always ahead of the game, and takes her responsibility heavily.

Have managed to get a Brazilian guy to come to town to present, and as an extension hoping he'll pay a visit here.

Guilt trip this morning as my son's Christmas party on an exam day - like I can't not go to Nagoya?

Broccoli Ice Cream repeating

Spent (half day) gawping at...; think she knows (even sat on me as well when the boys piled on top - almost enough pressure to decent chiropracting session - left a bit!)

Repeat of Broccoli yes/no lesson plan, 

this time more jumping at end for YES. 

Big success.

Can id this more often, please?

Impromptu going home Jim Time = 4 songs off the cuff.

Happy Birthday Mum...wish I could spend a fraction of my time with you :(

Looks like I'm going to Yamagata next weekend via Tokyo. Love to travel but this all will be at top speed & lacking in socials. Don't think my colleagues have the first clue about the peripherals beyond this tiny centre of the universe.

Broccoli Ice Cream

Love it when an idea comes together as a blow them away lesson! iLeader came & joined in a bit; Chief glowed as she was showing an observer around; Boss stood with his mouth open & was later gushing with praise; Choriso wanted to know why the happy/sad faces...Let me do this every bloody day, will you?

Adapted "Do you like Spaghetti?" From Let's Go 2 Songs & Chants singing over 'I do too' with more "Yes, I do" 

getting kids to hold up happy (green card) face + YES on reverse. Follow up/extension with flash cards of yummy stuff > 

noisy "Yes, I do" + hands aloft + card.

A sad face then on red paper & NO on reverse. 

Clean Up song to clear the decks

Broccoli Ice Cream

no pre-teach except asking them too early if they're ready = unscripted NOs. 

Credit Ryan Hagglund for heads up on tune.

Well happy with this outcome, grateful for not doing all the prep myself. Three more times & video in the bag?

Welcome, Eric Morecambe

One of those nothing days, stuck hovering around Fski's misbehaving violent squad. Free play outside am and pm also added to my listless waste of a day feeling; gorgeous sunshine, clear blue skies & turning leaves...Assembly introduced new boy H, who held my hand for a while in the yard first thing. Eric Morecambe glasses.

 Also Ayane-sensei, a student teacher back for a spell. Impromptu "help" to sing English version of  10 Little Indians; good job I know it (but then again, most teachers my age do?)  - this after request for one little finger & CD player crapped out. Deal with anything going wrong, advice to novice teachers!

Headache, fed up (mostly due to a certain vache de mer in Nagaoya) , and bored with daily 'make it up as you go along' stipulation. Why always me? (apologies to Mario Balotelli).

A bear is going on a child hunt!

Chief says, and TV news confirms, there's a bear on the loose over in the river. Interesting morning for some bent old lady with an allotment in the riverbed?!

Same old kick about, Napoleon being a dick. The tall rangy mum interests me greatly; speaks English I think & has a brood of older kids. Cheerful chops gave a good nod & smile.

T'is Hallowe'en & a blessed early finish. Tons to do at work - examiner-related mostly.

Teacher Assistant Pro - bought it, but can I use it more than once?

Gave up on footy as Napoleon was being a ball-greedy twat again. Think he maybe noticed I didn't bother trying when he didn't pass or just robbed the other kids to set up a shot for himself.

Nowt doing as Madge's lot made their junk lot cars; taking registration off iPad with Teacher Assistant Pro the highlight. Sat on T to modify his behavior; worked. Stuffed pepper (chalk flavour) for lunch & hour + meeting with iLeader. Dec & Jan pretty much written off Jim Time, and seems she has been anointed chief of staff.

Running around outside, nothing new, waiting for day to end.

November's plan delivered - to me. Think it really ought to be the other way around.

Need Santa Dec 24, about an hour from 10am. Not the easiest day to find a willing lad/dad.

Gruffalo plan tossed. 15-second attention spans claimed, especially as all in English > was actually an issue last year? Don't think so...you could write the entire script in 90 seconds... Wallace & Gromitt a massive success previously, and I guarantee the Gruffalo is magical from our own pre-school experience. But, what do I know?

Shop for games & cards, large books (themed to seasons or series they know)?
Also potato pals would be great.

Dec/Jan Jim Time discarded crassly, so will be waiting for 5 min filling-in drill bollocks again.

Inspiring myself & conjuring games

Big job this am anchoring the pumpkin pull with birthday kids. Go Away Ghoulie Goblin sung out of context but a very loud "go away" at least.

Spent hours last night doing admin for exams which is obviously redundant, and does not impact my mood positively.

Sitting @ back of hall being completely bored & frustrated, especially as they expect an entire month planned & timed & translated by tomorrow. Lunch upstairs methinks?

Lunch thinking time = plans 1/2 made. IMHO bloody well done me.

In class, dreamed up very big tummy ache game. 6 groups by table, one large A3x2 sheet. Items on large (A4) card, not see-through, holes at top to hang off magnetic hook. Turns, in group to come & fetch, Jim asks each card what is it? & do you like? T helps keep tables in order.

• Play game + teachers before?!

Violent Femmes

With Bacardi in Legs11's class; like her a lot & her style but not as bouncy and in control of micro behavior. Does do things differently, especially praise. Obviously uses music more & has found scores for How's the Weather, and today's Ghoulie Ghost - this last edition of Jim Time was shite. I got hit a couple of times not playfully (after a fairly violent lunch). Go Away became flying kicks & punches, power slides & grabbing. Not in the mood on a Friday arvo.

Allied to this is feeling huge and having a really painful knee all week. Constant & fairly intense.

An appointment certifying one of our YLE examiners after classes.
All day Saturday to look forward to as well, workshop & Rei too. Work appointment after classes, meeting a publisher's rep for dinner & drinks. Get her talking about herself, give her some gossip, and enjoy the food (Doma Doma).

Mug shots, milk cartons and my bum

Today with pink but no painting, instead decorating cups to stick their mug shots on. Not for me to join in really, but tried to look busy. Finished lunch quickly, got Boss to help me set up iPad to projector. Took a bit of fiddling (half an hour) as he is hungover as usual, and has no clue what teachers are talking about, but final result is very clear, any app.

Blue lot  making houses from milk cartons. Again, nothing to do but get bum groped & bored witless. Apparently a double whammy Jim Time required at end blue & pink - not in the schedule either.

Where are my materials?

Situation normal - all messed up - pink instead of red class, owing to mums all coming to watch red. Not on the schedule? Think it was. Whither Jim?

Minnie cool with the change & used me/English nicely. Read Kipper story off iPad at end of day & got them very worked up. Success. Does this help sell the iPad idea? Doubt it...

Wearing my favourite England rugby shirt, did not want to get covered in pink paint - looks like another cardboard box robot on the go?

Afternoon shift with Madge,  & not my original LP as they'd equipped, but a repeat of the Go Away Ghoulie Ghost lesson. Had to hunt down materials upstairs because iLeader is off today (another reason I hate relying on other people to prep my stuff) off, & concertina 50 mins into 35. 4 corners for 4 groups of monsters/spiders etc works best.

Apps and stuff which I would like to use

These actually my notes for something else I am doing today in Tokyo, but are very relevant hence the share. Back in my corner next week :)

For YLE storytelling >

 Puppet Show demo and try it with one set of pics?

RB sentences - run video.

Voice thread 

Phonics Farm - first sounds

Spell animals

Spelling monster - play various first, then show make lists option

Super Simple on YouTube > Halloween stuff

Go to YLE folder... 

Futaba

Chatterkids

Write about

Puppet Pals 2 tutorial

Shake a phrase - quiz me, story starter

So much for the lesson plan, again!

Fed up with point-blank shooting 'practice' in the yard, when they're hitting the little kids in the head etc and risking injury to me too (important!) as there are usually three balls on the go.

Jim Time this am with middle-aged crew - so 36 or so chirpy tots; started early with Bacardi, who at 11 (end time) said "It's ok, keep going til twenty past or half past". Love her to bits but fuck me, just knocked out 30 minutes at full-speed to match "must submit" plan.

Drew crayon faces onto painted plates (angry face), contrasting colors); taped on a clump of hair (pre-cut & tied thank you iLeader,) then noses. Told by iLeader to join in with crayoning while trying to write up these notes :( I do not need your micro-management. After all, had no lunchtime time as I was registering 90 library books. Consider context before elbowing-in with direction?

Read "Hairy Scary Monster" on iPad with Bacardi holding 

(oh for a screen?!)

kids found mini monsters (which giggle when touched) as I got into it. 

Actually surprised how much they liked it :)

Double standards - we've changed...

So all the fuss about today's big Jim time kind of fucked in the arse last minute, as none of the kids here - gone walkers en masse & I'm rearranged to the pm, if you don't mind?

However, can sit back & enjoy looking at Bacardi running a class on her own. Start with several nice songs & request I sing up my x2 songs as well.  Nice twist to registration = got the monitors to call out names. Made flowers with tissue paper, pipe cleaner & paper cups. Jim on cellotape duty; another notch on the CV.

Fried mackerel & for once no cucumber salad.

Made x4 sets of cut-outs for "Hello my Friends (trick or treating)" song for each class, then into Jim Time. Too noisy for me following coloring/cutting instructions (Choriso much better at this), but done & stapled to head bands (thank you iLeader x60; I hate other people doing my prep though). In hall 1st run through did not work well - half sat "go away", other half turning headbands around to go away. Version 2 much better, in groups, creeping towards others....natural "go away" needed! Music on hall PA much better, & Choriso a big help & supportive when I needed her feedback about tweaking the interactions.

Teacher on teacher, we speak the same language.

Halloween theme & burst lesson plans

Last Friday was going to be productive only it wasn't; about to nail down decent prep for next week & craft the much required lesson plan etc. Instead, dragged out to tail-gun a second expedition to Nonomiya shrine. Interested to meet the the Russian lady again, especially as she now knew my name. Curious.

 Painted remainder of paper plates.

Today? Til one am repairing lesson plan for 16th (why all the fuss?) & then have to interpret bits for my wife as she translated it. FFS :(

10:20 Jim time returned. 

Used Super Simple Songs' downloadable f/cards

 pre-teach characters > gestures to Let's Go Trick or Treating couple of run throughs + CD = not a bad start. 

Crayon-on faces to painted paper plates eyebrows etc

 teacher sticking on hair/beard & silly fluffy nose. 

Ran 15 mins over, but not my fault; iLeader & Choriso wanted to

(and what does that imply about the point of a lesson plan & no flexibility?)

Oden lunch, ugh, and shucking dried corn. Typhoon again missed but my mum worried again from afar.

I'm sorry, I haven't got a clue

Blood Moon eclipse last night; Choriso asks for comments & gets a lot - clear sky = good view. Explains it nicely & sets class up to perform in front of all the grandparents in the hall.

Feedback yesterday = delivered, not discussed.

A) iOS limit to notes recording...

• I do limit to my inactive times when totally uninvolved & teacher clearly not about to ask me to do anything. Be assured I'm usually finding ideas/apps/stories to match what they are doing/I think they'll be doing next - ie I'm always catching up & being caught on the hop with 'do you know this song?' or 'do you have something to illustrate this topic?' Would use iOS device with projector, but requires someone less tech savvy but 'in charge' to set up - assuming they're available at an instant's notice. My idea is to buy projector leads & my own speakers (Bluetooth & powerful). Insist wifi access for YouTube etc...

B) a.m. greeting & home time = "serious time"...

• do not understand the problem. Any case, every day different by previous activity, time pressure on HR teacher, mood of the day, and the teacher herself. Some involve me lot (Minnie, iLeader used to, Choriso), some dump me in it (Allan), some use me when they can (Madge, Legs11), and Fski has no idea what to do with me/tries to pretend I'm not there. Pinch of salt required with this.

C) lunchtime "join in" ... 

• This is #1 horrendous time for me, as is utterly unstructured. Solution I think = my table in a corner (1st table free?) & board games - their new stock eg alphabet squares, tummy ache...

Bumped into a Russian mum while we were wandering around a park nearby, apparently an English teacher.

We have a plan...it all makes perfect sense!

October scheme.

• No schedule am = 10-15 mins Halloween hello, same idea goodbye time when no schedule. 
• Oct 28 = do some performance to fit birthday day
• Long days no schedule 5-10 mins Halloween vocabulary on demand & 5-10 sayonara minutes. Halloween story book (I'm thinking app as we don't have much up that street at the office) instead of their reader.
• Oct 15,17,28 ,30 = longer goodbye time - song + some teaching, eg vocab via f/cards
• 5 Jim times = 30 minutes a pop
• 18th = skeleton/dem bones song
• Hello trick /treat song

• 14/17 use same LP 
• 16 = all 60 in hall, practice the dances & something else
• 21/24 = same LP Halloween theme, same LP twice
• No Jim time before 14th, just music.
• Give iLeader heads up before big Jim Time for her to help out
• Music onto memory stick? Can they manage that?
• 31st half day
• Oct 7 paint the base plates in the hall
• 14 & 17 = activity time = crayon on the face. See p398  - eyebrows, eyeliner, bags under eyes, scar, mouth + half teeth, glue on fluffy nose. iLeader etc will do hair & strap
• Bring my mask & pumpkin pics ; use American pre-school stuff
• Start with trick or treat song, then intro culture (as above)
• Give the painting etc 15-20 mins ft
• 16th, hall with 60 ~ dream up a dance to dem bones & 2 teachers dressed up in skeleton t-shirts & activity to fill up 30 mins. iLeader needs plan by 10th (absent on 16th)
• 21 & 24 older lot, 30 mins something different wrt Halloween
• Oct 18th 9-12 dads' open day; autumn/Halloween them. Join in with my son? Bit of showing off with songs.

Want a sodding plan for home time bollocks, 17,28, 30, 31 (extended so book or s/thg) - as if that is ever going to work. Always something else crops up or some mini-drama to attend. Am there, ready & set to go. Cannot write down the improvisation required! Daft.

Can I tell you a secret?

For what it is worth, today I made a formal note for myself to start searching for my own replacement here.

I do not think I can find an English housewife with nothing else to do - one without kid commitments but with teaching experience, free time for this much work but not needing more, a visa, already here in town, and willing to put up with eg Sports Day bollocks & no hard & fast curriculum, let alone schedule.

For the world of me, no way to dig up one of the above. I cannot use Facebook or my school would be a laughing stock - and we'd be gazumped. I cannot advertise a part-time job with these parameters, and I will not hand-off this precious job (yes, the money counts too) to any old unemployed Pom hanging around.

This job needs youthful vigour & enthusiasm, eagerness to join in - including learning the language like I don't - and have a go. This means someone relatively 'new', keen to please and not to concerned about their 'image'. Obviously someone who has not got the 'been there, done that' t-shirt which any ex-teaching mum would have. Doubt they'd ever listen to me, come to the school in their free-time to prepare or do anything without the meter running.

Also doubt the staff here, and certainly the peripheries, parents etc have any idea I actually leave here to go to my full-time job? Nor any comprehension what I do most weekends?

Just sharing - lest anyone think I can continue to do this for very much longer? I'm burning out, and podging-out with stress/inactivity/stress. Not about to make a hasty move...and while I'm sharing, Y totally disagrees as we are making a profit. Kind of kills off her other complaints about me never being finished early, never looking too cheerful, hard to wake up in the mornings, not doing housework.

Watch this space.

Blown away - stick this in your pipe

Domestic issue with my son and a breakfast disagreement has my mood carried into the day (as well as a bruised hand due the hole I punched in a wall) including the meeting with iLeader. Suddenly micro-managing lesson plans after wasting my time in August & September? Are you totally off your heads?

Could not write a more farcical requirement, given the utter shambles of a job I have been expected to try & do the last two months. Now we want to have everything written down in advance, with timings & materials translated a month in advance? Stroll on - as if your lot take ANY notice of what I share in terms of photos, recordings, material, feedback (giving up on Edmodo), ideas (ditto Google Drive), messages (Line/Messenger). Breath-taking chutzpah.

But lo, a little later, when my classroom role is uninfected with bloody sports day practice, aerobics for MTV, drumming for the deaf, a required lesson plan or anything specially prepared...

3 songs with the left-hand tiddlers

They sang totally without me

CD player set very low volume, me in front prompting

 Allan & K2 totally blown away!

And blown away why? Any chance the little bit of learning they do with me goes in better/deeper because of the way I make it work for them - and the fact they can do it, like doing it, do it again? 

To be totally honest, this minor miracle of memory from the 3/4 year-olds made me feel 20 feet tall, as we have not been able to do anything for weeks. Just imagine what an uninterrupted charge of English could have achieved? Could be doing Macbeth by now...

Hand still hurts, wall still has a hole in it. Pity any of the hierarchy or my wife couldn't have witnessed this either. 

Volcanic fall-out from sports day

Tanjobi day; everyone looks relieved to be done with sports day! Talk about wasted opportunity for sport - event obviously much more important for PR

Minii among others on stage. Nicely controlled by Minnie; iLeader glows.

Volcano eruption on Gifu/Nagano border killed 31 during sports day; IMHO no such thing as 'unexpected eruption' if a volcano is active. News has been fairly horrific, but our doctor students calm and candid. Bodies with massive holes blasted through them by high velocity/super heated ejecta. Micro-layer of ash reached town here.

Bored witless, arse prodded, lunch in Madge's room; usual suspects being twats. Aggro behaviour not reined in.

Song practice = 50% at most involved, rest lipsyching & distracting each other: really dislike the shoutiness. Anyway, Legs11 rescues the group & then rice-picking briefing by Madge. Harvest is tomorrow.

The big gig: Sports Day

Both ends of the 'stadium' rammed with parents & grandparents, dads on step ladders along the touchline dangling cameras & videos.

Next year's intake get a run, as do alumni - tears from toothless loser, poor thing. Something to remember forever?

Littlest ones sat in the sun, no shade or hydration. Job I have done with the drums etc taken care of by dozen extras - trainee teachers & pinch hitters. Their efforts very much appreciated.

As I can't even really see in, with the weight of parenthood and camera anguish, all I can really do to wander around behind the crowd & say 'Hi' to a few people who notice. Could be so much more if they wanted it to be - stopped & asked my opinion once in the last month?

But that would be far too much. This is all about the show, and in the days of film I am sure how Fuji made a bloody fortune. It's the ritual, the rite of passage and the precision of the schedule - familiarity & security of life moving on but nothing really changing? It is absolutely not to do with anything sporty, a celebration of speed, skill or ability. All about the group think, the homogeneity, the malleableness. Celebrate the job the teachers have done to produce this tightly choreographed mini-drama, when nothing has actually happened.

And everyone goes home happy, the teachers frazzled, cameras full. Sunstroke cases I am sure, and another notch in 'my childhood' notched on mums' Facebook pages.

Happiest of all, likely the in-house photographers' boss. I gave CD-roms of all my photos to Boss to give to the teachers; no one said thank you, so I guess he didn't.

Are we nearly there yet?

Typhoon coming?

More f%@*ing sports day practice. Inane bollocks achieving square root of sweet f. a.

Scotland said No

Morning spent with my long lens actually shooting the sports day practice. Afternoon ditto the taiko.
Lunchtime bento outside, betting & winning on Hina finishing last.

Legs11 & iLeader frisky, but lots of tired looking kids.

TV wants to see English school talking about the referendum - my friends & staff interviewed on the subject at my school in my abscence. Gormless set up, as it turns out - glad I wasn't there! Doubtless "Igirisu" continues.

Turns out wasn't the only one startled at size of iOS 8 download, glad I stopped uninstalling apps!

iOS8 or Scotland; which is bigger?

Til 11 outside drilling sports day; keeping out of the way in photographer pose, but need to keep out of actual photographer's shots lest somone notice I'm trying to keep track of the Scottish Referendum on the sly. Must be 'No' for me - UK & European progress knackered otherwise.

Double dipping Legs11 this week; suits me!

EdTech news =  iOS 8, requiring enormous 4.6GB space. Costs me how many apps?

Punch bag

Minnie's = "no touch" (meaning she did not want o get involved!) comment as Allan makes a total hash of a simple job with the chalk, drawing out the playground lines/circles -  rolled her eyes in dismay as she left the yard & made my day. First ever mini-chink of fractions in the ranks!

Watching Legs11 calmly manage her class as usual; piece of poetry in motion.

Kaisei variously stood on my hand, kicked me in arm & head, called me bakayaro ("stupid idiot") loudly half a dozen times & hit me in the face (reflex I regret but he deserved harder). He's now wrecking a nice card game for other boys. The flashcards they are playing with demonstrate the wrong sounds eg 'o' for Gorilla, katakana o not schwa - hard to explain without a phonetic keyboard.

Kaisei does have issues, developmentally, but I do not think that gives him carte blanche to be an absolute bastard to me or anyone else he lines up as his target. At least I can walk away; I guess the kids have to find their own way of dealing with him.

Nine Eleven

Large buses blocking the street carelessly, not an issue during the day, as it is empty, but is a rat-run full of distracted mums at this time of the day.

The lad Anji back at school, but off colour = fine with me ...lots more kids have joined in football with his absence. However, I'm feeling stiff & immobile (autumn chill creeping in); runny noses & coughs started Tuesday :(

Lots of mums around, for some reason - big deal today = sports day practice. Erm. Think we know what I think about that! Avoided action (aerobics to inane loud J-Pop far too fast & incomprehensible steps) pretending to take pics.  Little kids scared of running into the finishing tape, others can't run straight or handle the corners.

Four teachers (inc. new face Akio-sensei) in Minnie's room today. As usual, look forward to her relaxed, competent teaching.

Occurs to me that this is my mate Ant's birthday, but also the fact that none of this school's kids were anywhere near born when the Twin Towers attacked.

On that note, would Union Jack ever feature in a sports day uk? Stars & stripes would be all over an American one; marching behind hinamaru (Rising Sun flag) bit worrying here.

10 min lunch with pink then moving drums & stuff back. Belted in the head by kid called Kai (an odd sort to be sure) but while holding a box for drum stick returns & unable to defend myself; well pissed off.

At a loose end, playing & sharing my iPad app failed again - overwhelmed with pushing & shoving, climbing on any part of me available & jabbing fingers from spoilers. Solution would be project to a screen, but we know that is not going to happen, as it is not my call and they are dead-set analog.

Legs11 giving a nice debrief of her class efforts this morning, praising all for having a go & not about winning - keep going to the end. Asked them what felt good etc. Nicely done.

What is my time worth?

Dozens of 'must do' jobs hanging over my head for over a week & no chance redemption while I continue with this waste of my time/Luna's MVP. NOT minimum cost utility player on a free.

Sports day jog out practice, needless to say. At least nice weather, taking photos to keep me out the way.

So England qualify for Euros after first game beating mighty Swiss away? Since when has that had to count as a footballing achievement?

Wrong notes!

• Mild, sweet and rich lamb dhansak

• Spiced lamb burgers with herbed yoghurt

• Grilled lamb chops, wild garlic pesto and Jersey Royals

• Parsnip-stuffed roast saddle of lamb with a red wine sauce

Souvla - Greek or Cypriot grill to roast skewers of lamb, kid or chicken

This is my notebook for today, so it must have been an out of body experience or one awesome hallucination, because lunch this was not!

Drip drop drip like an April shower

Pre-camping, in tiny tiddlers class.

Sports practice "rained off" by couple of drops! What is it about Japan & inability to endure a bit of rain? I could understand if it was torrential/yard flooded, but so very not the case. Put on macs!

And now it isn't raining even that little bit at all; Jim time was spontaneously requested (grumble, but can do and will do with a smile...but then mid-planning now being ditched for 'maybe later'. Not sure how they'd view their educational contributions being mucked around/sidelined like this. Guess this confirms that my part in the grand scheme of things very much the afterthought. Outside to boredom after all. 

Jim Time re-requested but for after lunch. Not a copy/paste job because this is the back of an envelope (no wifi, still) and it needs to be a completely different plan as they are low & slow after food - just before sleepies for this crowd.

Make a circle, ss1:2

One little finger, ss1:4 

Skiddamarink, ss3:14

Not a killer plan by any means, but need to have the resources handy and flexibility to slip it into action regardless the kids' situation. All sitting down on chairs? Still sat at tables? All standing up & no furniture? Need to be done in 5 minutes or stretch it to 15? Revving up or revving down? A capella or has the CD player turned up? 

Groundhog Day

So here we go again, wasted mornings doing sports day drills - not the sports, the admin. Last year was dreary, so I'm thrilled at this next month's prospects.

Old school football, please!

Pointless kick around today in the yard - two boys buddy up & hoof it down the far end of the park, again & again. Am I about to go fetch in this heat? We never did that when I was a kid. We made teams, world cup, walley, actually made goals etc. Added to that we never had a ball - tennis ball or a medium-sized stone...

Bubbles, slime, soap & colours outside. Choriso asked me to lead good morning (emphasis there on asked, as in given warning & time to prepare), and told kids to talk to me x3 times today. Nice idea!

Helped dismantle the pool & felt semi-useful. One girl dropped rice on the floor & stood there waiting for help. Choriso = 'think about it yourself & do something'. Good. Older girl Chiaki lent a hand. Nice life lesson.

Clean up, put on your shoes, see you later = 2:30 plan w/ Choriso; enjoyable work-mate who is going up all the time in my regard.

Ice bucket & other challenges

Nominated by Stevie & Katie same day. Shot down by the kindy big thinkers as 'too dangerous' to do here.

Surplus to requirements in one class, with their a candy-striper too, so off-loaded into no-plan Allan-land. Fucked off & fobbed off!

Angry enough to snap a kid in half today, constant jabs up the arse/bollocks/guts in tag team action. Why always me? Don't see anyone else getting physically abused.

Fighting boys in Fski's class have started up, as they did last year. i.e. Takes a couple of months for the inattentiveness to come to fruit.

Lead role as 'ONI' practicing sports day. Skewered major offender accidentally on purpose. Crap day.

Rainy day blues

Tanjobi (birthday) day, an annoying reminder as I missed all of my daughter's fun yesterday/over the weekend :( with being busy training examiners in Tokyo. Feeling really blue about that.

Got to Eki-mae before rain turned me back for a jacket. Respite = bit of outdoor action & some nice legs on an elegant mum, eye-smile from Candy. Mayhem in the hall as expected; absolutely hate these unstructured scrums.

Proud mums lined up at the back of the hall to see the show, juggling video cameras with mobiles and babies.  In class with indecisive Allan & her punchy lot today.

Let's see: 10:40 & already fed up - my notes do not suggest I survive the day in any finer spirits!

Living a Meaning of Life chapter

Lots of "pants off, move to lower peg unless you are going on the upper school excursion to the pool, in which case put your other pair in a plastic bag with your name on it on the table. Replace bag on lower peg with empty shoe bag. Put your towel on the table unless you have an allergy, in which case leave towel in your first bag but don't change your pants. If you already changed your pants and didn't tell the teacher, put your old pants back on and leave your towel where it is. Don't forget to put your hat on, which is in your swimming bag in your locker. Put that bag on the back of your chair. Take your sandals out of your shoe bag and put them in the basket. Make sure your name is on your shoe bag in black pen and that you fold it neatly and put it in your pants bag on the lower hook. You shouldn't be wearing any socks! Why aren't they in your other shoes in the shoe box outside?

Body painting mayhem, blue knees & purple kids. Shower detail for me.

Lunch inspector.

Colours song x2 with Dragon.

43-hour summer holiday

Refreshed & enthused? First day back enthused?

Black wasp's nest in the hedge, and later splattered one before it could wreak havoc on the children. A couple if boys I suspect went footy camp; Anji still doesn't know what a team mate is for (apart from pushing).

Pulling up pants in tiddler class, sweating like fat bastard, Allan & plastic bag/shoes practice for tomorrow (yours truly goes to the pool - once, to look at it!)

Couple of bollock-prodders here; one combo puke/shit boy stank out room & gave K2 quite a job - guess who I end up sitting next to for lunch - Marbo nasu of all things (looks like what this unit just produced...hard to swallow let alone look at!)

No.23 has been crying all morning - asleep at wheel before lunch served!

Helped Minnie & noticed obvious difference in mood between the two rooms.

Good to see Bacardi again :)

Paddling Pool blues

Waste of time; til 10:20 dicking around outside with 3 lads picking up the football all the time :(

Paddling pool; moderately wet. 21 souls today.

Lunch = last night's dinner. Finished 11:45. Sang grace in Hebrew - nobody noticed wasn't English!

Enjoying the holiday, everyone?

By 10:30 already an extremely hot  & sticky pre-typhoon day, drizzle, hot sun, torrential shower, overcast....kicked a few balls around (pinged youngster on head from 35 yds). Good shot or did he move the wrong way? We shall never know!

Likely won't make my own daughter's Suzuki performance, & also likely her camping this weekend washed out ;( Although I am not a Suzuki Method fan, I am a big fan of my daughter and have not yet missed her perform. So how come I have to now in the middle of the fricking summer holiday?

iLeader chatted this morning, as did Boss, so obviously they're feeling at the looser end of being busy too. Minnie in top form smiling & praising. Allan anonymous - some surprise about that? No, not really.

You brought the wrong lunch

32 degrees, so no wonder a lame kick about with Yuki; others joined & he started owning the ball. Groan. A quiet lad held my hand in goal. Which was nice, but obvious consequences.

Shorts athletics practice Madge, looking fit + iLeader keeping in trim.

Pool after Epson-style aerobics - the same music they use there mid-morning/afternoon stretch outs, & splashathon.

Admonished for having sandwiches, juice & Aquarius at lunch - must be the obligatory (yet impossible to swallow) rice ball. Sometimes, you just roll with the punches - but always low ones here.

Summer Holidays?

Day One:

On the job 08:45 & Lego/toy car etc duty. Fuck this. I am not a play school assistant.

Minnie asked if I had a summer holiday

Choriso looked at me blank with wtf u doing here on her face

Fski nearly shit herself

Madge was well confused

Legs11 pleased to see me but similarly non-plussed

Boss bumped into me in supermarket while I was buying lunch - and was surprised to see me

No fucking plan, no fucking use of my time which is HOLIDAY anyway. Any other teacher would have quit today (3 weeks holiday from Friday; on the job Tuesday? I don't think so).

Biggest stitch-up I have ever been taken advantage for - and my own wife will not support me.

Are we there yet?

Matsuri in the hall. Who knew!?

Old bird taking birthday photos, Napoleon hoofing the ball to the far end of park & dog shit stinking the place out again. 

Awfully hot & sweaty; couple of days to go, please!

Dog Day Afternoon

One if those zero PD days

Marbo tofu for lunch, splash in paddling pool, bloody sweaty.  Madge's class & only one run in with Taiga.

Too hot to type

Don't know what it is about Legs11, but always gives me the horn. Think she smolders brilliantly - and all the while teaching little children. How does that work? Or am I slightly underemployed?

Tying rubber bands around chopsticks for tie-dye t-shirts...pinnacle of my career?

Meeting with iLeader, Madge & Chief, I-Spy iLeader being groomed for leadership; quite amusing as that dynamic far more interesting than content of the meeting itself!

pm slot is slower, need to finish more crisply

No Jim time at moment but impromptu stuff as per
Ask simple Q of the day at home time?

Be even less ambitious with input (use flash cards) - buy large ones
For Everybody Up; scan, use projector. OK - get connector. This will never happen!

Do same things again - v simple Q/A & redo conversational exchanges.
Song, f/cards, groups, record, play, do again.

Until Sept only 15' (sports day prep again) - concentrate on new songs (What is it, here you are/thank etc) 

Oct back on track, Nov & Dec want 3 month aim of stock phrases - do that tonight & shared, but nobody has looked.

Something Halloweenish - song/arts & crafts idea. Something else ambitious which will be last-minuted.

Material -readers: buy a few off Amazon & find on YouTube, can you?

Club Med never this good

Hot & sweaty, lethargic football around the yard first thing...

Reassigned to help tiddlers in/out pool - which means grabbing them, not them grabbing me; highlight of the morning & wondering how I ended up doing this after the glamour of Noumea, although I do so a few more bare bums this way...just!

No, Argentina, you can't have the World Cup

Lethargic football in sun -0 bit like England in Brazil.

Set up the pool steps while iLeader told me about her car wreck. Thankfully she's ok. 

Switched into green class last minute = not much point me making many plans, hey?
As for coming in during holidays...not in my grand scheme (something to dwell upon there later, reader).

Swallows x5 about to flee nest; tiddlers in pool with my son's jungle gym, them medium sized ones.

No one has a first clue about water safety.

Quick lunch & dodge to the khazi, phoned new customer in Tokyo - have to be able to do this if I'm here three days a week. Can hardly say I'll call back next Monday, can I?!

Spontaneous (?) song & dance in Madge's room. Nothing spontaneous ever happens the room at the far end of the corridor! 

Krauts win at the Maracana, crushed Messi
Contador crashes out (fine with me!) in TDF
Root & Anderson put on last wicket 198 at Trent Bridge!

Napoleon

Taiga deliberately kicking ball into the street, & ball-up-shirt boredom (for me) as Napoleon takes command. In Worksop, he'd have his head kicked off in seconds flat.

Typhoon is barreling down.

Used SlowCam for dance section; excellent tool. Use Bon Bon & football etc?

Twitter news: RT madness! Pic of two Popes praying to different football gods hits 40 retweets in 10 mins! Must be the Spanish bit?!

Red Bull dawn

Needed a shave and a Red Bull this morning, after a too late a night watching a favourite old Aussie TV show. Did imbibe a little too much as well, truth be told, which may have dented my enthusiasm for  fried chikuwa/cucumber salad in Minnie's class when I eventually got there (was allowed to be late due to my own daughter's event first thing this morning). Have to admit, they are good about factoring in this kind of commitment.

Did I miss something from Legs11 & the chance to have a siesta this afternoon (Lord knows I needed some shut eye - but chance of waking me up again pretty poor!).

Crusciates & cherries

Fski class and absolutely nothing to report yet! Lots of mums with toddlers inspecting & a twinkle little star request from Chief; torrential rain last night filled up their pool, the slide I have provided 10cm too short.

Emptying the pool became a highlight - bailing & throwing the water high & wide near scampering children. Hello & bye to new kids/mums, seems to be a role they like me doing - if only I could double my advantage and give out my school's brochures or my business card at the same time...

Of Anji's sliding tackle from behind earlier; the little prick deserved to get trodden on. As he did not feel the need to apologise to me, I'm going to be childish too and not show too much concern for him either  He is fine, just lost more points in front of his mates. Too bad. My knee now hurts; unfamiliar readers, I do not have much in the way of MCL/ACL support for my right knee.

Later, Unko Boy (again) reminded me of school bullies in my life, especially when he flicked my ear which was not far off earning a smack, before lunch. Fski does nothing about this kind of behaviour, & rainy indoor games have become violent as usual, regular miscreants pushing others around.

Funny chat with Bacardi/iLeader, that the latter no Cherry Girl! Was just getting interesting...maybe I taught iLeader's brother-in-law at the local uni, where her dad also worked? Bacardi has friends interested in my school, too. How would I ever get her to a bar by herself to buy her that drink?!

Oh Canada

Canada day & hot; Allan  has no idea I'm supposed to be here in her class & obviously busy with swimming costume practice...can I go & do something constructive then? Spending the morning looking at three-year-old arses not my idea of professional development. Am sure there are a number of sad sacks out 'there' who would be trolling the internet for a job like this though.

Observers peer in as I'm sat here watching a la Rolf Harris as entire class drops trou. 1st impressions!

Lunch = curry rice...one kid trying to eat jelly with chopsticks becomes one of my instantly unforgettable highlights of this experience ! Can I do 5 mins at 2:35? Meanwhile, what to do? Hate the after eating/still messy/do play dough limbo.

Directed to blue room for the afternoon; found distraction helping iLeader drain the pool with a blow job. Which needs clarification! Drain lip is higher than base of pool, so it needs some serious syphoning action.

And lo, 30 odd bits & pieces on view here as well, getting changed for the pool in class. Good job I trust me in this environment.

Elevenses

Choriso exciting 4 groups in one & eliciting smiles & participation for tonight's sleepover.

Just found out we finish 11:30 (yesterday told 1pm). Guess I can catch up notes, calendar, quizlet, blog, drive, scoop it, buy some screens, apple TVs, curtains....and finish my shelving?

Would like to have known about this a little earlier...you know, get head around the day, plan to use that extra half an hour usefully?

They think it's all over; earthquake practice

Earthquake practice - under tables & quiet, then head count in yard. Debrief with Minnie after was very good, as it involves kids making rules for themselves and explaining why such things are important. She is excellent at this; not preachy, not critical, not with a shopping list to tick items off. Full of praise for all ideas. A pleasure to see in action.

Swimming costume changing practice?! F%@^, just go to the pool & figure it out! Minnie pulls some bright yellow budgie smugglers out of a bag & waves them in air before realising she can't make her point with a g-string. Hilarious.

Can I help get changed?! T & A show once again; genuinely shocked to discover that K is a boy. Classic double take moment for me, a la Crying Game! Practice paddle with plastic, and the can't do anything prerequisite in Japan which is the lazy stretching & whistle instructions...Club Med all over again! This is where the do as you are told mentality comes from; bizarre!

Several postponements later, had about five songs with them at the end; this is OK because Minnie is very good (whereas the other class in the same entry-level age group is grumpy, frumpy & negative)

England already going home from the World Cup in Brazil, after just 5 days actually in it. Chris Waddle off a long run up with criticism well-aimed. 

Yes, you can't go in the pool!

A first sortie to the open-pool out by the airport this morning, but not allowed to go anywhere near the water! How cruel is that? Marched around being reminded of the rules, while baking hot and dazzling reflections off the cool blue water and the Greek-white surroundings. Staff very busy doing seven shades of bugger all too! No chance of anyone leaping in to disturb the beautifully inviting water. Must admit, I was sorely tempted!

Trip preceded by 'getting changed' practice, so bare bums everywhere. Yet another scenario to deal with without any briefing (no pun intended!) - like, what am I supposed to do?! Plenty of tangled costumes and limbs going through the wrong holes, and clearly in need of assistance. Elsewhere, touch and be prosecuted, short walk to jail and life-time on an offenders' list. Career well & truly cooked.Now, with all that swimming around in my head, still a classroom of little ones in need of timely and gentle sartorial assistance. You give it, don't you, and give them a chunk of esteem which includes looking funky in new trunks, having them on the right way round and not being last/having to take everything off and on again because you're still wearing your pants underneath?!

Seems I have picked up a bad cough.

To the farm with a nodding off Choriso, and dozy contemplations of cup size.
Radish & baby carrots picked regimentally!

Reluctant artists kill my ice cream lesson

Boss & iLeader both down in the dumps, not sure why but hopefully nothing I have/haven't done!

Enjoyed putting long range shots past Choriso to make my footballing self feel better about life (see below); therapy!

Madge & Legs11 off to see Ibuki's dad's construction business; hope my own student who works there is ready for two minibus-loads of sticky fingers! Different venue, in the end I heard, but made a TV commercial?

Meanwhile, Fski doing a ninja race = red/white squares as a giant othello type game. The probation teacher having time in front of Choriso's class in the playground (lesson minutely planned I'm sure!)

Bento day ; forgot again, saw Mrs Boss in the supermarket and I am sure dobbed-in before I could walk back. Good job I had second thoughts about a crafty tube before heading back!

Jim Time = middle ones x29 doing Brocolli Ice Cream

A4 in 12 segments 3x4, listen/draw ex. 

Keep forgetting this age not very good or keen at drawing. 

Reading "lunch" was more fun

drawing a "thank you bento pic" did nothing.

Football update: Suarez brace, and for me a rattle in my chest & puked/coughed as game in Sao Paolo wound down.

Dental hygiene & Henrietta Hippo

Little Rino showed me a hole where a tooth had jumped into a donut; timely as today's big screen prezzo in the hall for all = dental hygiene with communal practice. Not my favourite topic, gawping into people's mouths/communal tooth-brushing & gargling. And yes, there was a song for that, along with animated nasties eating away enamel.

Kept myself busy with Edmodo.

Made it up as I went along, with Henrietta the Hairy Hippo

Bacardi keen to observe a class again for her son this week.

Late last night rearranging my room & getting board up, PC shifted, while trying to listen to the exciting 1st Test at Lords v Sri Lanka ending in a draw, last man in w/ 5 balls left etc...gripping stuff

Meditating and football results

Five minutes accapella with lovely Legs11 before meditation practice at the temple half a mile away; good job we're not doing this tomorrow after 4am footy - don't think snoring in the corner would impress anyone!

Not sure if  one is supposed to plan how to organise & carry out flower planting for the afternoon when the whole building is quietly considering belly buttons.

Spain crashed out & they have a new king.

What can a Hippopotamus be

Cycled to work in the light drizzle, and then practiced drop kicking plums across the yard as there was no one to play with!

My 1st time with tiddlers in the red class, who are super small easily underfoot! Allan's brand of  classroom spontaneity, mostly asides & internal dialogue broadcast sotto voce. She always strikes me as cranky & too quick to blurt. Bit crap on piano (always clock-watching or forgetting the next line) & doesn't engage with the kids very warmly.

Jim time about 10 mins: 

jumping killed the CD player doing Everybody Up! 

Hello song, one little finger, & see you later. 

Lots of smiles & joining in. 

One girl though immediately uses me as a groin-level punchbag. 

Deputy Dog lookalike in the class?

Roped into painting hands and the risk of getting to my next class red/blue/green, but grabbed by Dragon to read a book (What can a Hippopotamus be?)  bilingually - two separate books they have on their library shelf, with them responding 3rd time through with resounding "NO!" Bit of improv & reading from the back of the room :)

Back to lunch with tiddlers - fried tuna & crisps/daikon salad (must be a broccoli & cucumber shortage?)

Where's my Teddy, but no Gruffalo

Cobbled together Jim Time today, "Where's my Teddy?" 

Middle bunch + Fski this morning, cutting out bits to make a teddy. Time consuming but I think fun?! 

Colour after lunch if you want. 

Read the book but very flat response. 

Issue was I couldn't get pcs working in time to sort out The Gruffalo last night at work. Finished wirelessly networking them all at midnight, as well earthquake-proofing the bookcases. Think the books will all still fall out, but at least no one will get clattered by the furniture.

Eyes half closed after lunch; need a nap! Wandered around not connecting anywhere, hid upstairs a bit as no Dragon about. 2nd Jim Time cut bodies of the teddy bears out first, & attached body parts bit by bit to prevent losses. Allan pinch-hitting with me, & much less enjoyable, more 1 to 1 but she notices less. Instead she spends half the time trying to chat with me & I don't have the first clue what she's on about, certainly not when I'm trying get a class done actually monitor the children.

Very hot & sweaty; tons of rubbish to move from our old premises, and the network apparently not working...maybe just the operators, I think.

RIP Rik Mayall; staggering news he's dead at 56.

Suicide Blond

Called Jimiko today for the long blonde wig I was wearing on gate duty, which was very amusing. A lad who thinks he's Pele got pinged in the ear playing footy in the yard (oops!) & a lack of bladder control later in the day added up to a fair pegging back of his rather large opinion of his short self, and a pegging-back of his Alpha male status. Have I been watching too many Animal Planet documentaries?!

No interaction during Fski's; film in the hall. No Jim Time either, which leaves me thoroughly dissatisfied & feeling my time has been wasted being here today. Twattish boy calling me "unko" (turd) & presuming to boss me around eg fetch that ball. I really don't think so - but how to get that message across without lending him a thick ear? I do not know how to do these things in L1, let alone L2...what training course would that be on? PGCE?

Made a bird in class with the children, lending the less dexterous/attentive a hand doing the origami; had to get onigiri (rice ball) from Lawson's (needed the walk to calm down) and ate in the yard with all the children picnicking (a no school lunch day).

A phone call from a friend about a very close friend's recent suicide casts a cloud which I find hard to shrug off.

Rainy season arrived, buggers up the move we are in the midst of with the school. Last 3 nights I've put in 4am finishes, painting & decorating. Last night = unmasked downstairs & cleaned up, nearly finished the toilet.

Tonight = gallop to pack materials for a Cambridge examination in Nagoya tomorrow, as well as the smart clothes I'll need, teach x3 classes  in between & make the last train.

Just a quickie

Flying visit for Jim time only (& then with wrong plan!) - spent the day painting the upstairs of our new school premises, & then dumped off bookcases at scrap.

Trying to implement google Drive...

After 10 months, I endeavoured to get Boss organized a little more & shared the LP schedule they've been nagging for (& I was able to produce & share in no time)

However, today's schedule has already changed...

iLeader teaching Madge's class; not like for like for but certainly no downgrade. She's a very smooth operator. I picked up Rino & her chair for a dance; she's shy but loved being at the front, and entertained all the children. Phone call about paint (can I decide by phone/photo or go back to the shop sometime 'together' - like when, exactly?!) & thought I sorted Boss wrt Drive & new email account.

A mum playing piano in Legs11's room was lovely, then a play outside in the heat. Slow pace about lunch today, with everyone feeling drowsy - me included!

Playing outside in this heat has a serious overheating risk. Very uncomfortable & lots of sticky icky fingers! One lad as toban (monitor) today deliberately sticking fingers in food while serving the class at lunch & doing his best to be a Smart Alec. Allowed to be the punk as he's the biggest lad in the class, and easier to let him do what he wants and maintain the rest; he attracts my attention on purpose or not I'm not sure, but I certainly find his 'can't touch me' smirk annoying.

Jim time failed - Wallace video got chewed

Swiftly into Mr Wolf outside & impromptu janken race around a clock. 

Idea = team counts the clock numbers as teams race around it, 

rock/scissors/paper when meeting. 

problem with this should be obvious - counting beyond ten, as well as half the participants having to count backwards. And everyone has to count with the numbers upside down to them - I don't think I have seen a board game or teacher resource yet with the numbers facing 'out'. Have you?

Memo to self = check the tech will work

2nd memo to self = have a viable plan B to hand

Melting after that, tidying up & trying to rescue my precious video tape. 

At the end of the day, iLeader talking about a broken nendo board & value of friends' things. Nicely done group telling off, with their participation & agreement. Strong collective feeling of chagrin, losing the teacher's high regard and a group failure. no one in particular told off.

On a sweaty Friday

I picked up multi-region video player this morning & carted it over to the kindy on the back of my bike - our old school gadget today to share Wallace & Gromit's Wrong Trousers, which I can't get hold of digitally too easily. 

The Boss jury-rigged a screen for me in the hall, hope they love it! Meantime this am stranded in Fski's class (avoided 'aerobics' making a pic for the video) and that was about that for the day.

On my mind (and unable to think straight in her badly behaved unarmed combat class) is the training session I'm running in Shibuya tomorrow, and how I'm going to get there; will be in class til 9pm tonight - recharge my batteries on the train down?

Forty-nine yesterdays

No bike - 3 weeks to fix a bloody spoke?! Collected it on the way home, and lost Y3000 for the spoke. Jesus!

Furious mood yesterday - school landlord spouting bullshit about spare types & 3 blocks under the stairs around the back; we had to put them somewhere you arsehole, and they have been there for three years. What do you think rent entitles us to do? Boil your head.
Meanwhile, a client being stingy about hotel after I travel last thing or sparrow's fart? No respect = no co-operation
Also trip to recycle centre in between being badly advised filling in the bank loan form & making a mess of it. 
Also very angry my business class yesterday did not prepare, with Droopy tipping me over the edge with his routine lack of any gumption/personality. Imagine (fat) Ronaldo crossed with Michael Keaton.
Then asked to lead tourism map project with augmented reality.

Mundane start to today; some kids had made a mud cake + cherries with iLeader for me - thank you!. Double Jim Time today = keeps me busy. No complaints, as I far prefer to do stuff. Trying Three Billy Goats DVD & obvious technical issues with no chance to set up ahead of time; Choriso practical. Not much warm up as a result, & in the end coloring took far longer I imagined.

Other lot been on a trip & late back > lots of sleepy heads & lunched out.

Again, more with less, partly as we had less time to set up & Bacardi was unsure of the sockets. 

Same procedure "Hello" song

 "One little finger" then straight in after quick intro 

Three Billy Goats. 

Outro = I wrote something on finished product. 

Cherries & birthdays

Well they're nowhere near ripe yet, but showing promise outside red & pink classrooms; plums in the yard swelling. Hot & very sweaty cloudy; rainy season here?

My bike needs fixing - spoke, axles, and chain so I drove, which took 15 minutes longer. Spent last night at my school's new location imagining the rooms from a teaching perspective. Compared to our previous venues, squeezing large pegs into tiny holes; but needs must and a healthy paring of resources due. The actual teaching space worries me, especially if we do (we will) attract more YLs and need floor space. Our old school has that in abundance, but we must move before we all go mad!

Birthday day today - for the month - which is a nice idea, sharing the glory and not bigging-up one particular kid at a time.

A student teacher (do they all have to make their own naff anime character apron's as a project or something?) introduces herself during the show - a full school event in the hall, birthday mums (rarely a dad) clutching phones as cameras, often video cameras in the other hand too! She wisely plays piano to familiar tune. Instant success! Welcome Rina Sensei.

Wonky Donkey & lunch-box envy

Trying to remember the Wonky Donkey this am & think of actions

Spunky = brow wipe

Hanky Panky = hit wrists

Cranky = angry horns

Stinky Dinky = pinch nose & wave away a fart

Lanky = stretch

Honky-Tonky = guitar

Winky = wink

Wonky = hop foot to foot

Early start & tried to stretch it; lot of blank faces asked to draw a donkey, but wanted to do before video which they'd copy. Check out 30+ originals.

Mums hovering as they are observing tiddlers today.

One older kid having a 'mare & howling the place down; continues after the bell & is consoled a bit by friends, which doesn't do any good! I sit with her but that does sweet FA either. Old gate-ball playing lady pushes candy thru the gate (am sure her grumpy spouse would like to push her through the gate, miserable sod). Boss tempts howler away with promise to phone mummy. Boss carries her back into class all smiles 10 mins later & sits her down. Tells class Y has been told a big secret & she's promised not to say. Great strategy & makes her feel good, others jealous, not pitying.

Allan unusually industrious, taping things up; half school disappeared on an excursion. Boss redirects Allan & can see her lower lip drift to usual setting!

Meantime, long briefing from Legs11 that loses me, found a Wonky Donkey app & lined it up on YouTube with my phone. Treasure Hunt mums & toddlers looks engaging. Some of the mums look engaging too ;)

Bunked off to go to the convenience store as I had not brought my own lunch today (analog schedule I was given 6 weeks ago taped to my calendar at my office probably; old lady who has obviously never used an ATM in front of me! Enjoyed a/c in Seiyu, spoiled for bento choice but had to choose something unlikely to raise too much interest). Competitive mums as usual gone over the top prepping these precious morsels. No wonder they all look knackered. Just don't do it (but then my own wife does too...).

Saved a girl's shoe off a roof; got pissed off with K humping my leg. Earlier gave Tigger a rev in Madge's class for being persistently naughty/AWOL. Farming lot came back shattered. TGIF....

Bloated, cranky and not very positive

Feeling fat, bloated & tired, barely able to chase a ball this am

Yellow class doing scissor skills (quite well) cutting circles, squares & triangles; my job to lean in & 'help', using English? That's hard for everyone concerned (and least useful for the least co-oordinated?). Introduced posing TPR which was nice & drew out energy!

Babies & mums in hall; scared a few including iLeader's niece - oops!

Sleepy & not in the mood today, and really gone off a lad Tigger who is sneaky...another lad Tatty, who had an obviously painful & worrying eye operation (for months had to wear goggles taped on to his face), now a daily ball-stabbing pain.

Black Cat a bit flat with Dragon lurking. Achieved little; did scribble down a shopping list of stuff I'd like to invest their money in. Scroll on to see if anything becomes of my recommendations.

Is it the parents?

Slow kick about with one irritating lad hoofing it far end of the yard every chance; dopey tw*t. Takumi showing promise. Didn't feel too bad landing the football on the recently bullying lad with Mohawk; wasn't so cocky after his bubble burst. Now I know how Paul Scholes feels?! Other MUFC news is that Giggs takes a back seat to a certain Luis van Gaal.

Main activity this morning seems to be collecting very small plums off the tree in the yard.

Proper drum practice in hall but I have surprise x2 middle classes today & not the Black Cat repeat I was expecting. Bit of a panic. Theme "Ten in the Bed" but Fski's rabble not really much fun.  

Hid after lunch & planned/remembered ideas for rest of month & June, almost. Felt guilty hiding but can't think with kids dangling off every limb, & don't get paid preparation time. Fair, I think.

More with less 2nd time round + useful Choriso help. She's instinctive & kid-focused. "Hello" song milked, a lot more, & "Ten in the Bed" avoided violence.

With my other work cap on, speaking examiners sorted for Cambridge FCE everywhere :) 

Family news = my step-father has been given his marching orders; well done mum so proud & so helpless far away...standing around watching mums apparently happy wondering which ones are in the same situation as you were through my childhood...