Chilling out - November in pictures

October round-up in a Catatonia Slideshow

Here are some of the highlights in pictures as the sun slipped lower over our kindergarten. Lots of Karaoke Queens (and Kings) here! Obviously everyone having too much fun!

Of skipping and potatoes

Joe Root!

After all the excitment & build up, not to mention the dreaded early start, Cinderella could not go to the ball. Whoever wrote up my schedule did not know that I was persona non grata for the train trip today! Sulk!

Instead, I was involved with the left-behind half of the kindy, engaging in skipping practice. This is what the girls did in Worksop while the boys were scuffing their shoes to bits playing football with a stone on the blacktop yard! At least my knee isn't killing me any more - the pre-typhoon ache's disappeared - but I'm never going to be a skipper! Oh, the ropes are too short. Damn, I'll just watch and admire the beautiful autumn morning, daydream a bit will K-sensei smoothly does her thing!

Painting tubers

Sweet potatoes & carrots

Unidentified muddy objects in bucket are vegetables from the school farm to be washed, which when dried quickly in the lovely sunshine became still-life items for children to draw. Some very cool interpretations, and a very enjoyable class attempt at the "one potato, two potato" song (JET songs CD) - first in pairs then in fours with fists...

Cheering up a fat-lip

My lunch over (Friday = curry, far too sweet), time spent in the corridor working on my quads - three or four kids hanging on each ankle & then trying to drag them along the polished wooden floor to the other end. Bonus = cleans the floor?! In the UK I know a girl with a fat lip from a head-banging accident cannot be consoled - which is bonkers. What is the world coming to if a concerned adult cannot put an arm around a distraught child to help calm them down? Guess I would not get a job for long in a UK Kindy!

Oh, and the train trip mob came back very excited...not talking to them about it. Not fair. I wanted to go!

A Flock of Fogies - Part One

Hi Granny - I'm up here on stage!

The Chief introduced me very nicely indeed to the kindergarten hall - packed to the rafter with Japan's other most needy age group the retired. Yes, today (and tomorrow) is Grandparents' Day. School invaded for the morning by the not so agile - but did I see any of them getting wellied in the Cods? Nope...

I said my scripted piece, which The Chief then interpreted for the assembled bespectacled throng - easy, as she wrote my intro in the first place...except I adlibbed :)

The idea is to rattle heart strings, and therefore purse strings, as often granny & grandpa help out with kindy fees/child-sitting if/when mum & dad have work obligations. I actually think this is a very nice idea, but it is also very contrived in that classes across the country are saying exactly the same thing to their grandparents, and being given exactly the same advice in return - "eat your greens" in rough translation. This another event that Fuji Film would have been sponsoring 20 years ago, as it is shutter-frenzy...nowadays shakey phone camera images & an unedited slideshow on the flatscreen TV during dinner this evening.

But, the teachers did lead the children through a lovely morning, starting with the small ones. I do really enjoy seeing I, A & M senseis at work; always smiling and focussed on their kids. Yes, a performance drill but that is how kindy teachers have been trained for the last 50 years or so - they all do the same songs & crafts - but these three are lovely.

Psychedelic us, baby!

The slightly bigger ones dazzle with tie-dyed t-shirts and a UV show on the ceiling (an expensive paint job I would say), and tear-jerking songs that despite the generation gap are familiar! I guess it is nice that there is still a connection, whereas in my country there would be an enormous disconnect between modern culture (even of kindy kids) and the greyer ones.

After the set piece assembly, classes went back to base followed by the oldies, where a smaller class performance ensued; a couple of songs (seated) while the glowing ones looked on from around the room. I felt very incongruous blocking the view. Do I join in with the half-remembered hand gestures? Do I mumble along with words I don't know? Solution = hold hands with shy kid next to me whose grandparents not here today...but then don't I look even wierder?

Thank you, granny & grandpa

The room was overwhelming full - mouldies out-numbering in-mates. Handmade memorabilia were given to the respected aged, hugs avoided mostly but a bow and a stiff 'thank you' rendered. And an early hometime for half the class - tears from several of those neglected today. Obviously the same will happen tomorrow!

A quiet afternoon shift then, with half the school gone home? Sadly not. My on-the-spot solution to "do somehting fun, Jim sensei" was The Hokey Kokey. Now I know this gets out of hand, but I was kind of hoping the teachers would lend me a hand in accident prevention. Am sure this song actually banned in UK schools due to Health & Safety issues? With over 40 participants the rowdier boys had a field day clattering into each other. Well, I started so I'll finish...only one minor concussion. My work is done.

September as a Slideshow

Here is a little collection of pictures from around the classrooms & at the school farm, rice patch, playground etc...through my initiation in September! I hope you like!

Birthday propoganda & marching blues

Let's get this right - practice til we blister in the sun

Today was 'birthday day' - monthly event to celebrate the children who get a year older in September. My first time 'on show' and not at all sure what is going to be asked of me...but just sure that I was going to be asked to do something. A battery of mummy hens with camera phones & video cameras poised, and on top of that two photographers familiar for the stock shots.

Fortunately the Chief elected for Head & Shoulders - which is pretty much banned at my school as is far too passe...every child in the country already knows it. Having said that, without ever doing this song together before, we all looked pretty organised!

Learning Sports Day lines

The Chief made her speech in the hall - she's good at this, commanding authority as only matrons can! The classroom teachers officially introduced themselves (to me, in English - but also very much 'on the spot'). As the children sang the outro, Chief & co gave mums a present (identical & properly wrapped - important here!) and then explained what it was before they could rip into them - and an explanation on how to use an ornamental tissue box holder!

Mums then adjourned to their beloveds' classrooms, and partook of the celebration - a little different in each case I think, as teachers did their party piece. I saw birthday boys & girls choose an apple (picture) from the wall, which had a pair of questions for mums & tanjobi ones to answer. Nice idea - have I seen this in a game show somewhere? In the midst of organising the audience, controlling the game, managing the stage and being on best behaviour for mums, the teacher still got her bottom very accurately poked. I think the lack of reaction helps explain my predicament - mercilessly jumped at, headbutted, mauled, Chinese burned, mauled, molested, rammed...and so far nobody has suggested that this behaviour is even slightly out of order.

Party piece done, teacher's set piece speech to the newly birthdayed children - or more accurately, for the glorification of said child with mum's glowing approval & the reflected benefit of the school...oops I am thinking with PR hat on (but I know much better ways to share all of this, you know. I've got apps & LMS ideas buring a whole in my phone). Clincher is the child + teacher photo...pet of the year status on the mantelpiece.

Got to know your group - colour coding & then some!

After lunch today I got the distinct impression we were practicing making lines for that perfect home video collection next week at Sports Day...a more sinister interpretation would be a totalitarian undercurrent that often accompanies things like marching. But I am only 6 - while we were waiting I nevertheless did not enjoy the shirt-lifting which I could not prevent. Maybe this is how judo got invented?

Certainly today was the battle of Grazed Knee, Rolling in the Gravel, and growly whistle blowing. Being seen to have fun on the big day is taking all our time to prep every aspect...so what about the 'sport'! Left right, left right....

If you can't sing...shout!

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Wet paint!

Are you all sitting comfortably?

Today's dilemma is "Should I shave my arms & legs?" but I may be a bit late already...today I was a swing, and all the hairs on my forearms have been pulled out by endless chinese-burn torturers! As for my legs, well having a kid dangling in each arm does make you a bit defenceless - who knew little girls could be so clever at inflicting pain?!

The drizzle at the gate greeting this morning lent itself to a fun new topic - colours, of boots & brollies, many bearing Thomas the Tank Engine; a few frogs, one bumble bee. No Unmentionable Mouse or Hello Kitty...one of the mums obviously wanted to talk to me, which was a bit disconcerting (I'm new here - what are the rules, please!) as I have nowhere to hide! School-gate bullying is not something I've thought of before...

I want to plug my iPod into the school PA, so we can have a theme song for the arrivee. Mine today would be "How's the Weather?" (OUP Let's Sing, Let's Chant 1), a favourite of mine ever since a silly Kiwi teacher did the most ridiculous bicycle dance thing to show "It's sunny". One song a day would have us quite a catalogue by the end of my Tour of Duty! I wonder if they are technically savvy here? They do have a fish worth Y80,000 in the entrance fish tank...

We practiced four or five songs for the camping trip tomorrow (I'm not invited?) sitting down neatly; the class monitor ("toban") made sure I had my hands behind my back. This is a stress position! Tiniest wooden chair possible, bum aching, knees by my chin (hair being pulled from thinghs) and hands behind my back? No wonder I've got the stiffest neck imaginable. Could barely stand up after that!

Risky business

The very brave teacher explained that we were going to do hand painting in large groups around tables. Carnage, surely?! Big piece of paper, dollop of paint in a bowl, "Do your worst!". I don't know many DELTAs or PhDs for this kind of teaching exist...but the penny dropped for me as this teacher ma

naged the room, not the kids; peer pressure works a treat, especially here where we all have to be team players - start & finish together, share & share alike. End product not really important, but achieved as everyone did their bit...teacher intervenes to whole class if something somewhere not going the way it should be = odd one out identified by the other 31 kids and brought into line. Clever. My metalanguage could do with this implant. However, the activity was really short...an ongoing project I can see, but for all the effort (and risk!) not much immediate pay off for the kids.

Any hand-painting or messy primary colour activity > use "What colour is it?"  (Everybody Up 1 from OUP)

The best bit was washing up though, pushing to get to the front = you got blue or yellow paint dribbled in your hair. "Clean up" song (Super Simple Songs) would work here. Can I go to my adult class looking like arterial splatter this evening?

The teacher was busy cleaning up while free/undirected arts/crafts took place as quiet time. This is where my hairs were torn out endlessly - I'm rubbish at drawing and all I can make with plasticene ("Nendo") is sausages!

Blues brothers, and sisters

The lunch marathon did my head in. Some of my classmates were even flakier than me after sitting there ("hands behind back" the little sergeant major kept drilling me every time he went past!) looking but not touching as the bowls were delivered, apparently at random but looked more like friends first? Did I want a large serving of unidentified egg/nut pie & blueberry goop? Give it a go, as I'm starving & hometime hours off! One of the serving girls kept giving me the eye & flouncing in front of me!

The remaining hairs on my wrists disappeared after lunch. I'd sat with the quiet table because they were well-behaved & we'd read a book together earlier. My compromise "We'll play later" with the noisy boys back-fired. They ate quickly to maximise our quality time together!

In the big hall I licked my wounds as some leaping dance with maracas was drilled. Aerobics too? I want to play outside (it stopped raining ages ago). Silly dance 2? I need a ball to get me interested.

Hats on - time to go home!

We were finally allowed out & I found my crew by the gate. Muddy socks but maybe my evening class won't notice? Flashback to Worksop primary school where we used to use a medium-sized stone on a blacktop playground - no such thing as a long ball to the big kid goal-hanging. You had to dribble & pass short. Oops. I just nailed annoying kid from lunch time (hair remover) between the eyes with a lob that went a bit lower & harder than intended. Erm.

Finally, finally, I could hang out with the Principal & the grown ups again, saying hello/goodbye at home time. My stalker reappeared with a friend. Oh no, this has Glenn Close written all over it. Please high five me kids, keep me busy a bit longer?

My first day:don't kick the dinner ladies.

My only vivid memory of kindergarten (or pre-school as I think it was called where I was - Belfast, Northern Ireland) was of kicking a poor dinner lady in the head when she & her white-coated gang tried to wrestle me back into the buildings...I was waiting for my mum to come & pick me at lunch-time as usual and she was late, and it was snowing...I didn't know I was big enough to stay all day! Boy, did I wail.

So today was a day full of memories, as it was my first day back!

My daughter gave me plenty of advice last night, must important was "smile & try to make friends". My son thinks I must be a bit thick, if I have to go to the same kind of class as he does! Squeels of delight sticking my little name tags on my cup & eating stuff this morning. Off big daddy went to the little school.

Now, I have been in kindy classes before, as a drop in 'superstar' for an hour or so over the years, lead a few activities and not have to deal with much else. We have also run a fully English pre-school at my school - but I thought I'd changed my last nappy. Hmm. For the next six months, I am going to be embedded with the troops three times a week, subverting the little nippers with English as we go through a regular day in the life. So, Secret Big Kid vs 120 or so...trying not to speak Japanese (that's the easy part for me!).

So, how did Day One go?

• Stiff neck & back from teeny furniture
• Headache from loud, loud shouting & dehydration (left my water bottle on my bike)
• Bruised nethers from constant groping, misplaced elbows/shoulders/heads

I was actually surprised how little teaching actually happened. There was a lot of doing things together; one table were dinner monitors & responsible for delivering servings of meat & veg stew, rice, miso soup to each person (much mirth as I was given a king-sized portion)...this took over half an hour, and was in the classroom (not a dinner room). The children waited very patiently until they could start. Once finished though, they could amuse themselves & wander about (mostly to see what I was doing) but were very good about putting their plates & things away. Must finish the rice, I remember being told!

In the yard welcoming kids & parents as they arrived  & left is obvious PR. Being tugged in 35 different directions by kids wanting to play was hard - and the swings etc just a wee bit too small for me to tackle. And my own tackle was constantly in danger with my hands held & someone tugging my shorts down...goalkeeper seemed a good way to engage many in the playground and have an excuse to jump around a bit!

Sense of musical classrooms as half the groups seemed to be rotating into other classrooms to join in activities (& mixing age groups)...

• musical chairs (but teacher plays the music on a piano, back to room - a classroom management difference for me, as I'd use a popular/target song on CD & use a remote to free me up to disentangle before tears arise). 
• Another room = learning an action dance for the school show (I think) with 60+ and a very engaging teacher who clearly can handle children well. Put on the spot to do a song/dance myself = "If you're happy".
• In the playground practicing stretching & running races (memo to self = do not tear a hamstring, you old fart - which I did very badly at the Korean school a few years ago!). Covered in gravel...
• 'free' play time in the classroom after lunch which was undirected but remarkably calm

Before hometime, the whole school welcomed me in the school hall, and the teachers introduced themselves in English. Put on the spot again to intro myself &amp; 'do something' - quick Simon says and then high fives (and low blows) with many. Wave goodbye to everyone, and then breathe!

I needed a nap after all that - no wonder the kids usually do. For me, a lot of nervous energy not knowing what I was supposed to be doing...at least I didn't have to be doing any growing up in the process, manage relationships or defend myself (against bigger kids, anyway!), change my pants in the room or have a big cry. Neither was I required to manage any of the teaching stuff, which as I hinted at earlier = crowd control (one to 30+) rather than any intense teaching.

Why is Daddy going back to kindy?

So after my first day, I didn't kick anyone in the head: tick. A couple of girls latched onto me: tick. Finished my rice: tick. Didn't cry: tick.

But...can barely remember any names, left my lunch stuff on the shoebox. And Day Two is always harder, right?