October round-up in a Catatonia Slideshow

Here are some of the highlights in pictures as the sun slipped lower over our kindergarten. Lots of Karaoke Queens (and Kings) here! Obviously everyone having too much fun!

Shin pads please

Can we finish this?

 For some reason the increasingly chilly mornings affect my memory; totally forgot to bring a Hallowe'en mask I made last year :(

I also forgot my chopsticks, and was worried I'd not get any lunch - now I know how the tiddlers feel when mummy forgets something important!

Today was another round of giant robot painting in the big hall, with every class having a turn to do a bit - but not finish anything. Large bits & pieces everywhere, with vivid colours being slapped on as well as a fair amount going astray.

Do as I say!

Although I did get lunch, I also got fed up with the violent & unconstructed after-lunch melee. Had enough of being hit, stabbed, poked and shouted at. Some amused themselves with felt-tips & nendo (plasticine) but it's the odd behaviour of a fair number of the boys in S-sensei's class which worries me. This afternoon, one lad again trying to kiss his friends, aggressively, before progressing into a general attempt to do K1 on anyone within reach - regardless of chairs etc in the way. Some of the boys actually barricaded the day with them. A few girls colouring in the corner & the teacher painting hands with blinkers on.

Recycled robots

As for hand-eye practice with soft balls in the hall, after some bouncing & catching it developed into another free for all, again with kicks aimed at my shins. Not happy with this at all, and to top it off it rained all the cycle-ride home and my raincoat was with my chopsticks on the stairs at home :(

Rolls-Royce teachers & professional concern

Blue Sky thinking!

I am very impressed with the tag-team-teaching going on in A & M class with the littler ones. These two are very good together, a complimentary blend of skills & styles, and run a class like a Rolls-Royce motor; super-smooth. Can't see the joins. Only problem is neither of them have any English between them - which rather undermines my 'not being able to speak/understand Japanese' role!

However, they do give me warning about topics they are going to do, and do ask if I can help with a song ahead of time; they do acknowledge me in the room. They also join in with my TPR, and cannot stop smiling...

Nevertheless, even this class suffers from the after-lunch free-for-all & hands off. Dominant kids bossing others (and me!) about. If even slightly directed - theme for the day or even background music I am sure would work a treat. I do not understand why there is a hole in the children's day.

As this class had a nap, I went walkabout. A quiet chair in a bigger classroom was not quiet for long; the dangle-crowd would not let me be & quickly wound me up. As A-sensei was off today, The Dragon was pinch-hitting...she knows my role is to join in as a kid (fair enough) but if she thinks I can sit "seiza" (traditional knees folded under) she is tragically over-estimating the limits of my ligaments. Calling me out for not complying earned her a mouthful...for a start I am not supposed to understand Japanese, nor have we interacted before, and I cannot physically comply - what are your sanctions?

While we pondered that, I returned to the sleepy-heads after their nap, there given the job of tucking shirts & t-shirts into trousers. I needed a chair to do that from (see previous paragraph about knees!) and enjoyed the few moments one on one to connect - an important moment I realised for teacher to not just tuck in undies & return their charges in a decent state etc but to give feedback to each child individually, quietly, warmly on their day...Can teachers still do any of this at home? I mean, tucking in? Would some kind of "perv alert" go off? God knows, some freak-shows would be busting a nut just reading this...have I been vetted by the police? Is anybody really checking if this is giving me jollies? Is this a suitable task for the new guy?

Connect Pink Floyd & Nancy Sinatra?

I think I will answer these issues elsewhere - I am trying to be unobtrusive here from the back of the class, not the front. I did become very aware of how exposed I was in my professional position this afternoon; that there are no background checks in this country whatsoever for anyone involved in this line of work, and I am supremely unmonitored/trusted...

Hallowe'en - opportunity missed

Robot-painting: big job!

Unfortunately I can't be here next week, as one of my other jobs drags me away for a couple of days - a once in a century kind of invitation I'm afraid. Sadly, that means I miss the monthly birthday party & chance to show off some Hallowe'en moves (now gone up in smoke). Even though I was going to be away I prepped to help all my mates make some easy Hallowe'en masks and downloaded an entirely new album of songs (bless Super Simple Songs!)

Can we do this? Yes, we can!

I was not the only one to have done some prep; a very large robot in a state of undress was systematically painted a revolving door of giddy artistes, who also managed to paint themselves a good deal of the time. Truly a large mission & very well crowd-controlled with a minimum of fuss - K-sensei is good at this "smiley-growly" management!

Although feeling in the dog-house, a rainy lunch gave me the chance to deploy my paper plates into the unstructured apres-lunch debacle I dislike; very under-supplied, a first-come first-served policy left me quite nagged. however, K-sensei is very sensible and quietly told the disappointed ones to get over it, while paying passive attention & being useful without being intrusive. Like.

Hallowe'en head-bands - test run

While I was doing this, the enigmatic mask-wearing dinner lady was saying goodbye and being mobbed by children being emotional - I don't think they know what she looks like either...just the bearer of nosh until today! I must admit, a very distracting dinner lady despite the plain white uniform, mask, & hair net (I say no more). Anyway, they made her cry (not my fault!) but my forte!

Nendo Ninja & THE remote control device

Something we made earlier

In the grabby, clingy class with A-sensei today - some adorable friends but also some incredibly annoying danglers & pokers. One thing for sure, I will not get any relief from the teacher as she is a real butterfly, fluttering in & out of her room as often as she can...having said that, she does run out of ideas more often and try to do stuff in English, like the class register. Today though, I was out of my depth as she expected me to be a nendo ninja - my buddies were at various stages of making unidentifiable objets d'art - and could I do repairs, rebuilds and refinings?

Look, I made a.....

Erm. No! I was crap at this when I was lad and never progressed beyond, well, this level = handles gone wonky on mugs which weigh a ton, squirls of 'sausage' type clay which everyone thinks is a big pooh, or balls of the stuff which look like balls of the stuff...Oh yes, I can help!

I do get the need to leave the classroom and take a deep breath, though. A walk down the hall for a peer into the other rooms helps me remember the traumas I just had the other day with the runny nose monster or the arm-hair-remover-girl, so maybe today's 'pick-me-up-and be-a-swing' isn't so bad? Mmm. Just a different kind of purgatory?

Now I can control the world!

I decided to amuse myself, and build a remote control for everybody's robots, built out of kitchen bits & bobs - milk cartons, bottle tops, straws etc...you will already know my arts & crafts skills are remedial, but if I look like I am doing something important/creative, I get moderately left alone (depending on where I hide!).

Of skipping and potatoes

Joe Root!

After all the excitment & build up, not to mention the dreaded early start, Cinderella could not go to the ball. Whoever wrote up my schedule did not know that I was persona non grata for the train trip today! Sulk!

Instead, I was involved with the left-behind half of the kindy, engaging in skipping practice. This is what the girls did in Worksop while the boys were scuffing their shoes to bits playing football with a stone on the blacktop yard! At least my knee isn't killing me any more - the pre-typhoon ache's disappeared - but I'm never going to be a skipper! Oh, the ropes are too short. Damn, I'll just watch and admire the beautiful autumn morning, daydream a bit will K-sensei smoothly does her thing!

Painting tubers

Sweet potatoes & carrots

Unidentified muddy objects in bucket are vegetables from the school farm to be washed, which when dried quickly in the lovely sunshine became still-life items for children to draw. Some very cool interpretations, and a very enjoyable class attempt at the "one potato, two potato" song (JET songs CD) - first in pairs then in fours with fists...

Cheering up a fat-lip

My lunch over (Friday = curry, far too sweet), time spent in the corridor working on my quads - three or four kids hanging on each ankle & then trying to drag them along the polished wooden floor to the other end. Bonus = cleans the floor?! In the UK I know a girl with a fat lip from a head-banging accident cannot be consoled - which is bonkers. What is the world coming to if a concerned adult cannot put an arm around a distraught child to help calm them down? Guess I would not get a job for long in a UK Kindy!

Oh, and the train trip mob came back very excited...not talking to them about it. Not fair. I wanted to go!

Transfer window - gleaning ideas & games

I nearly remembered the names of the six friends I really wanted to remember from Tuesday, but I'm in a different class today and they are wearing different clothes! I'll never get it - just like I can never remember which mums at home time belong to which kids - it's easier in the morning because they arrive together (and not all at the same time)!

Beware small chairs!

I get the feeling S-sensei does not enjoy having me in her classroom - can't say I blame her as there is no structure to what I am supposed to be doing. While she is not the most cheerful of teachers she does have the children behaving & joining in nicely when she plays the piano. Children are not too shouty, and she reinforced good behaviour today by letting the goody goodies have first dibs on coloured paper. The children made a simple booklet out of a B4 size piece - craftily folded into eighths with a slit cut along one crease (which became the middle). I am not going to start a origami blog! Not seen this neat trick before but immediately robbed it and tried at the evening job!

I also admired the homemade cups, which had been left to harden in the sunshine on the windowsill; plasticene ("nendo") shaped around paper cups & painted brightly.

While this class behaves when watched, it descends into three sets after lunch in unconstructed play. There's the Errol Flynn gaggle of boys with anything they can use as swords, regularly wrestling each other in alpha male territory & occassionally taking notice of me for a hitting session. Most of the girls quietly colouring identical pictures (as each other and as the other day) in purri-cura mode. The rest individually occupying themselves/staying out of harm's way, engrossed in a picture book or still eating lunch.

I did not enjoy being dumped with "doing something" to regain their attention from this chaotic & energetic discharge...my role as last resort?

Once some order restored, S-sensei went through a checklist with the children for the big train trip - where to meet & what to do (at the station); what had to be in their bags and how they should behave. Further instructions on how to pick up a rabbit and how to approach the business end of a dairy cow!

Cubby buddies

And then I saw a new game in the yard. A spiral drawn in the gravel (why gravel, by the way?) with chalk (football pitch variety marker used). Two groups of children; one in the middle, the other at the outer end. One from each team run inward/outward along the line until they meet, whereupon they 'janken' or do rock/scissors/paper. Loser returns to base & the next member heads off, while the winner 'stays on' and tries to complete the journey. Don't know if we have an English equivalent for this one?!

Why are 18 junior high school kids picking up leaves in the park next to the kindy? They clearly are not enjoying it!

Wet monkeys and platform tickets

Just add water

This morning's songs of the day rushed through with one eye on the clock...this the class that is the least engaged. Connection? This the class that grabs me the most, dangles the worst (off me) BUT in a moment of desperation to stretch the clock out, registration happens "in English"  a welcome first! not sure the teacher planned it to happen that way - more likely wanted to use up time!

Colourful results

Not sure why yet, but my mates given a picture of a monkey drawn onto cartridge paper (each one - must have taken ages (why not photocopy the buggers?). Our mission of the morning to add felt-tip pictures into the monkey frame, and to then lightly sweep our images with a wet paint brush. Actually a very nice effect - add to memory bank - this would make a lovely ABC project stand out.

Analog ticket machine

My patience in this class wafer thin as the 90 minutes after lunch is an undirected free for all, with the teacher doing her best to look busy & leaving the room frequently. Only so many rammings I can take, and annoyed with myself for getting angry with kids who are a) bored b) excited to be around me. This time after lunches really needs to be structured a lot more usefully.
Is that my job?

Practicing buying train tickets

Our afternoon highlight is practicing for the train trip we are going to make next Tuesday. In the big hall we practice using the right coins, pressing the right buttons on the ticket machine, using the ticket barrier, standing behind the yellow line - and most importantly NOT stampeding onto the train when it pulls up as well as giving up a seat to an oldie. Only one kid knew this already :(
But, not many kids use the train regularly - so a trip on the train is going to be a BIG deal!

Jim, please do something fun with 40 kids in the big hall. Now.
Erm. OK, let's try British Bulldog. Profound failure except that it was a great success, very noisy and out of control...It's Friday, right?

A Flock of Fogies - Part Two

Performing for the grey generation

This morning was a re-run of yesterday...the place flooded with over 120 grannies & grandpas. Got to love that kind of local engagement! That really is a tremendous outreach by the kindy and a show of commitment by the families. Need to adopt a bit of that back at the day job!

As the show went though its paces I found myself thinking about how to stage manage the February gig, when I have been asked to have the children perform something in English. Already have the really good pianist onside, so a matter of props and practice, really.

Grannies & Gramps given handmade medals

Back in the classroom today, with super-warm I sensei, I noticed how even in old age (or more accurately, especially in old age) the bowing routine establishes the pecking order. How many other cultures begin conversations with needless but pro forma apologies ... basically for being inferior? And, therefore, what signal does that imprint on the kids? Respect for sure a good thing - I'd d'off my cap to Mo Farrah or Jonny Wilkinson in a heartbeat. But, just because another person is 'more important than me' or has a bigger house? Umm. Don't think so!



Naughty me. Told off, almost publicly, for not entirely finishing my miso soup for lunch. Is there a more heinous crime? Stripped & flogged?

Team dictadraw - performance anxiety!

Redemption - albeit in a different class, where A sensei has run out of ideas. Can I do something? Surely can, girl: watch this :) Divided 20 kids into 4 groups. Decided this by lining up by height - oh yes, mixed age group class. Rescue the situation by numbering off = perfect mix. Whew. Large drawing paper per group, with their own crayon set. While they fetched these I wrote the lyrics down on the back of my hand just to be sure - the CD player was not handy. I hate this - singing :(   Deep breath, sang song through from start to finish (minor mistakes!) and 20 blank faces and well-confused A sensei! OK...break it down to get real, y'all. Line by line re-sang, and re-sang...bright sparks who are not on my radar as they do not demand attention, tests of strength or jab me up the bum regularly popped up on the screen.

The teams' Black Cat pictures - lovely!

In groups, I asked them to listen carefully to my song, and to draw what they heard. I have only ever done this with small groups before (and a CD player); the team effort approach had everyone super attentive & amazingly engaged, quietly building their 'soundscape'. My idea (unannounced) was that they'd make one picture together, but the outcome of a hodgepodge collage from all angles was even better than I'd hoped for. In the end I sang far more times than I'd have dared, the children started to sing along (must keep the words the same!) and we had a nice display for the wall.

Thanks Let's Go & the Black Cat song! Next time, one big collage with 40 creators, I think!

A Flock of Fogies - Part One

Hi Granny - I'm up here on stage!

The Chief introduced me very nicely indeed to the kindergarten hall - packed to the rafter with Japan's other most needy age group the retired. Yes, today (and tomorrow) is Grandparents' Day. School invaded for the morning by the not so agile - but did I see any of them getting wellied in the Cods? Nope...

I said my scripted piece, which The Chief then interpreted for the assembled bespectacled throng - easy, as she wrote my intro in the first place...except I adlibbed :)

The idea is to rattle heart strings, and therefore purse strings, as often granny & grandpa help out with kindy fees/child-sitting if/when mum & dad have work obligations. I actually think this is a very nice idea, but it is also very contrived in that classes across the country are saying exactly the same thing to their grandparents, and being given exactly the same advice in return - "eat your greens" in rough translation. This another event that Fuji Film would have been sponsoring 20 years ago, as it is shutter-frenzy...nowadays shakey phone camera images & an unedited slideshow on the flatscreen TV during dinner this evening.

But, the teachers did lead the children through a lovely morning, starting with the small ones. I do really enjoy seeing I, A & M senseis at work; always smiling and focussed on their kids. Yes, a performance drill but that is how kindy teachers have been trained for the last 50 years or so - they all do the same songs & crafts - but these three are lovely.

Psychedelic us, baby!

The slightly bigger ones dazzle with tie-dyed t-shirts and a UV show on the ceiling (an expensive paint job I would say), and tear-jerking songs that despite the generation gap are familiar! I guess it is nice that there is still a connection, whereas in my country there would be an enormous disconnect between modern culture (even of kindy kids) and the greyer ones.

After the set piece assembly, classes went back to base followed by the oldies, where a smaller class performance ensued; a couple of songs (seated) while the glowing ones looked on from around the room. I felt very incongruous blocking the view. Do I join in with the half-remembered hand gestures? Do I mumble along with words I don't know? Solution = hold hands with shy kid next to me whose grandparents not here today...but then don't I look even wierder?

Thank you, granny & grandpa

The room was overwhelming full - mouldies out-numbering in-mates. Handmade memorabilia were given to the respected aged, hugs avoided mostly but a bow and a stiff 'thank you' rendered. And an early hometime for half the class - tears from several of those neglected today. Obviously the same will happen tomorrow!

A quiet afternoon shift then, with half the school gone home? Sadly not. My on-the-spot solution to "do somehting fun, Jim sensei" was The Hokey Kokey. Now I know this gets out of hand, but I was kind of hoping the teachers would lend me a hand in accident prevention. Am sure this song actually banned in UK schools due to Health & Safety issues? With over 40 participants the rowdier boys had a field day clattering into each other. Well, I started so I'll finish...only one minor concussion. My work is done.

Sugar Rush Fairy - day trip to MisDo

Looking for an expert

Lunch box stress again! This time we are going to have a picnic in the park, after an excursion around town...will my sandwiches be too big? Will I be the only one without a chilled drink (but a bottle of coffee milk I bought a few days ago?

Seemed very odd to be driving back into town on a trip, which was exactly the same way I'd cycled out to the school less than an hour before. I had seen, but not really grasped the significance of, a couple of pictures on the classroom walls the last few days. These were the treasure items in our tresure hunt. A statue of a cow, and a frog, amongst other items. We waited on a bridge for a 'sensei' to find us & act like she was on a national TV variety show for her 3 minute ham-acting slot, then toddled off to count froggery - models, pictures, statues etc of frogs. My cohorts gave up after they got to 60 or so a minute and fifteen seconds later! That the street is nick-named "Frog Street" should be a clue!

We pulled into a shrine & all was a bit dull - I grabbed some bird seed and sat in the middle of my gang. Pigeons mobbed us and the photographer on stringing duty filled her socks. I later noticed 8'x10's of the day going for Y1,400, which I think is a bit rude! Check out my flickr feed!

The children had been briefed on the "ask a policeman" solution to being lost, and our kindy snake found its way to the nearest "Koban" - police box - where an utterly disinterested jobsworth copper failed to engage with anyone at all, and basically just pointed across the road & round the corner to where we could find our lost minibus. Useless plod! Kids love the whole uniform thing, and this was your moment to dazzle the children with the voice of authority, warm reassurance and a bit of ceremony. Plop. Underwhelmderment.

Seen any frogs around here?

Around the park we then walked, a bit like a cat looking for a comfy place to lie down; unfortunately a bunch of other schools had had the same idea and already had their priceless leisure mats in situ. Thankfully, everyone was really hungry, so my convenience store old sangers were not really noticed. Annoyed again that my playing with the early finishers = money in the bank for the photographer as we larked around the lake.

The coup de grace was practicing how to use money & buy something in a shop. I am sure older generations would be spinning in their graves that Mister Donuts was the chosen establishment to drill this financial interaction - everyone bought a donut to complete the sugar rush, before the ride back to school.

If you want to know anything, don't ask a Japanese policeman.

Now, this was a much better thought out trip than a high school trip I'd helped out back in July - dumped with a foreigner & then expected to explain downtown in  English with a full 2 hour commentary - but there was nevertheless plenty of room for a slice more English than me high-5ing donut buyers.

https://itunes.apple.com/jp/podcast/matsumoto-welcomes-you!/id528138759?l=en&mt=2 will find you a free one-hour walking tour of the town!

And only one kid puked his donut guts when allowed to choff his goody bag before hometime...

I needed this to be Friday: a difficult day

Really appreciated a couple of little gestures today, in particular my employer taking the time to sidle up to me & give me a "be genki" - guy speak for 'hope you are going to get over your horrible last few days'. You would never pick this guy as the owner & operator of a kindergarten, but maybe that is his secret ingredient. I like his moves!

The super quiet pianist lady braved up & asked me for sheet music for the songs I have been using - she's analog, but very keen and a key ally if we are going to make a splash next Feb. Really appreciate the songwriters being back with an answer within 24 hours. Super Simple Songs & Devon Thaggard....you rock! Despite the enthusiasm, lack of tech = had to sing their "Hello" song a capella, and run through "Wheels on the bus" without any wheels.

A tough week to get through: thank you staff for being respectful & unintrusive (and offering me all the time I needed instantly) and the kids for just being themselves.

I was with the abstract art class today - for some reason the trend here in free time is very different from the other 3 of the same age mix. A significant number draw squiggly mazes (like I used to, truth be told!) and only two doing 'princesses'...that was after lunch of fried chikuwa (fish paste sausage) & the entertainment being largely chopsticks up noses.

Our afternoon was spent choosing books from the library - one each. The fish tank has only one fish (worth two weeks' wages) but is about the same size as the library!

Getting through a very blue day

This morning nothing had changed - the same children were doing exactly the same things they were doing the last time I saw them, mums all looked pretty much the same & the teachers were as ever cheerful & bright...ten to nine in the lovely sunshine outside the school gates with The Chief.

I needed this. Yesterday was awful. I went to Tokyo first thing, and came back last thing. I spent all day trying not to cry, and the evening talking as earnestly as I ever have with giants. It was a really sad day - being bumped & prodded back to everyday life was actually not a bad thing this morning. Innocent smiles and the surround-sound laughter, mini-drama tears and genuine hugs a blessing.

K-sensi used me well...talking about colours & the calendar; asks children which season is coming, and what that means. Very well done. However, the 100-kid snake-a-thon to the nearest little shrine is a total sham, as the weather has not co-operated & we've yet to have a frost...autumn & falling leaves, acorns & gorgeous colours are weeks away! Nothing to pick up & horde, my mates touch everything in sight - cars, lamp-posts, my groin, stones...a quick re-think back at base = team relay races. A very good idea - with one poser hilariously throwing the race!

First contact with the mysterious English-speaking dinner lady (Aaaghh!). She with the mask & delicious almond eyes...meanwhile one little girl took over 90 minutes to consume her tiny lunch? Oh my goodness?! We practiced Grandparent's Day performance = very shouty boys, but we burnt off a lot of energy playing Mr. Wolf. Very new game for them and howls of fun...Almost forgot my Blues. Thanks K-sensei :)

What a nice nice day...for a fire drill!

Fire! Fire! Fetch the engines...

I do not really know how I got through today, but the kindness & understanding of The Chief certainly helped; I had some colour flash cards with me at the gate, where some children connected & gave me a word...a start at least.One or two others resorted to head-butting instead :(

Big assembly and high praise for my mates, as sports day sounds like a success...how could it ever not be?! "Spontaneous", "Sport" & "Surprise" are not words I expect are in the lexicon for organised showcase events.

Be afraid!

Matsumoto's Barney McGrew...

New rules are explained about bikes, trikes & scooters - to be rationed to one class only per day. There are quite a few of them, but not enough to keep everyone happy. There have been breakages and tears, no less. In the red class, whose turn it is to be able to use the bikes etc first, a further explanation of their privelege! In the midst of this I get a call about my best friend's autopsy from his wife, lying to his kids about cause of death & would I like more marbo tofu for lunch. What the hell did my friend eat last? Trying to stare out of the window in case these little mites see me welling up - amused to see a guy 'tuning' the jungle gym. Cool job with Toy Box!

After a recent haircut the children have discovered the spot on the back of my head. I wish it was a reset button, or today a teleport machine.The fire brigade arrived instead and the older ones had a fire drill. Given all the marching practice we've had the last onth, this is very old hat! Homeroom teachers put to task with an extinguisher, and kids given the "Don't play with matches" speech.

A dark, dark cloud over my day which had nothing to do with the children etc...in many ways they helped me keep focus & bless them for that.