September as a Slideshow

Here is a little collection of pictures from around the classrooms & at the school farm, rice patch, playground etc...through my initiation in September! I hope you like!

One last sleep left to Sports Day!

Once more into the playground...

I had the sneaky feeling today would be the big rehearsal before the big sports day...and seeing as I am not able to come tomorrow (got myself double-booked on the old sports day calendar thing!) thought I might apply myself to some photography instead. "Joining in" hat off, photojournalist's on.

It was nice to be ignored, which a zoom lens affords me, with only the occasional wave of recognition = a nice candid pic. (Or 700, I realised later, when it took 40 mins to download them all!)

For lunch I debut with I-sensei, who has a lovely manner with her class, always got a smile going on and is calmly on top of everything. Her off-sider K-sensei tries but comes over much more angry-mummy & insincere, and is the one person who has not said hello to me yet. Yes, I would say hello to her, but not so easy when eye contact impossible to make!

Just how mach can you do with play dough?

With even smaller tables & chairs, trying to digest with my knees up around my ears proved hard. Eating quickly did not pay off either, as I ended up being pulled in all directions by play dough ninjas with runny noses...several groinal area collisions left me grateful they take an enforced nap mid-afternoon. Time for my scrotum to rediscover its more normal position from just under my ears.

I-sensei did spot one of my buddies hitting a playmate over the head (had missed the previous 30-minutes of pandemonium as she had to write in everyone's diaries). Liked the way she dealt with that particular issue, addressing the class if certain behaviour was OK or not - so deviant pugilist would have a hard time arguing with the massed agreement of her 34 peers. Teacher not the bad guy nor the policeman. Harder to do in a smaller group, I think (and in a foreign language, though we did achieve that at my pre-school at Luna!).

After-lunch self-amusement

Wheels on the bus was a very popular diversion...

Copacabana, baby!

A case of the Manuels?

I was very amused to see some of very basic footballing 'tricks' being copied this morning, with varying degrees of success...applaud the trial & error and not giggle at the tangled legs! One little kid (well, my mates are all tiddlers but this one is tiddlier!) is very good indeed - can read where the ball/team mates will go & move into the spaces vacated (while everyone else runs after the ball kicking each others ankles!). My mission will be to get him to use his left foot.

An attack of the Spanish Waiters to the sound of Copacabana! Bit bewildering, shall we say? Jackets matching the colour-coding of the classes. The Chief explained there is a 3-year theme rotation. I wondered who made the costumes?

1. Spanish Bullfighting
2. Brazilian Samba (this year)
3. Japanese (need ideas!)

I needed to be told their was a 'pirates' theme for the dances, but K sensei looks every bit the aerobics teacher she also moonlights as. The teachers nevertheless hold quick councils of war to fine tune & re-drill parts of the 'show'. Is it really necessary?

Learning our lines

C-sensei needed a gap-filler...provided her class with the sotto voce Hokey Kokey, sans clattering middle eight. Usually get boisterous boys knocking each other out/ramming the teacher at testicle height. Been there, done that!

Am thinking Primary Songs from CUP will provide me with ammunition as I try to find niches to be useful beyond impromptu sing songs. Think I will also need an ammo pack of paper cups, plates etc to get through the post-lunch boredom of felt-pens & play dough (my classmates are one or t'other inclined).

A-sensei realised her class was being especially rowdy today (but did nothing about it at the time)...and reviewed class rules as a group, sat, as she pointed out examples of less than stellar behaviour. Pity she missed my arms being pulled out of their sockets & my leg getting humped. Hardly in the mood for that but angelic Hiroko then delivered a neck massage right on the spot.

How's the gravel?

Megu, also with a sore neck (mine has been stiff since the day I started here) is my voyeur partner as our classmates actually do some sports practice. She's good fun, and we have a giggle by ourselves. A lap around the chalk track in 4s. The girl with coke-bottle glasses used her girth at the start to elbow her way to the front - and then they all followed her as she followed the nearest line she could see off at an hilarious tangent! 

As this was also unfunny, arm-hair pulling pain in the bum girl from lunch, I could see no reason why a belly laugh was not in order :)

Over-rehearsing & under origami

Butterfly frames

Given that today's highlight was the sweet chicken curry for lunch with the cucumber/tiny fish vinegar salad...think we can say this morning was a slow burner. Sitting with the slowest eater meant I was there for quite a while!

Origamically Challenged, I managed to remember how to make a snapdragon; second attempt got it the right way around and put numbers & words under the flaps - present for the shy runner I call "Speedy" - the girl is a gazelle!

Quick rendez-vous in the assembly hall & asked to entertain x60 at the drop of a hat with a song & dance. Fortunately I now have the cable to connect my iPod to any radio/CD player & the frequency sussed for the auxiliary channel...and action: "Walking walking" song and pandamonium - which was nice, but my five minute slot fulfilled & trooped outside to practice the tug-of-war.

Rhythm is the key.

Summer heat still with us, and the younger ones kip down for a much-needed siesta; the older ones muster in the hall again for posing practice, pre-grandparents' appreciation  party...for sure that will be video & candid camera central, especially with the butterfly-shaped thank you cards being produced in industrial quantities back in the classroom.

Highlight of the day was teacher K using a particularly creative classmate's drawing book to tell a story & to get everyone joining in, adding ideas & checking the storyline nicely. Meantime, the most disengaged lad in class was trying to attach his handmade spectacles to his hat - had to give him a hand as it was hilarious!

Story-time precedes home-time

Bento envy - BYO anxiety

Tug-of-War corn

I have been concerned about today for over a week; my mummy lives on a different continent, and today I have to bring my own lunchbox. I'm not even sure I have a lunchbox.

What will the other mummies make? Will they do the fancy cut out carrot pieces, dainty ham & cheese rolls with charactered toothpicks, myriad hors d'oeuvres? What if I don't have enough and they all want to share? Or if they all laugh at mine? Or I can't finish? Even worse, if I don't remember it is BYO bento day and look like a twerp come lunchtime? Stress!

I had plenty of time to dwell on my late night cooking experiment & tupperware search last night, as the children yet again ran through rehearsals for sports day, which mostly meant squatting on the playing field and sifting gravel through their fingers.

What's your problem today?

For added drama today, man wielding starting gun appeared from behind a tree. A small guy, with a loud gun. Isn't it always thus? He was a very proud looking chappy, in full sporty oyaji gear to do the honours. That he pointed his gun aimlessly off to his right while giving his dentures some fresh air concerned me - and me alone it seemed. Given how bored I was (we've done this practicing routine a few too many times already) I had time to reflect on just how easy it was for a bloke with a gun to toddle up to the middle of the playground in the first place. There is no fence to speak of, save a low one to stop the kids falling into the road. No self-locking gates, absolutely no metal detectors or security guards (think this actually my role?!)

Bizarrely, a pair of SDF NCOs sauntered past the school, in their drab olive uniforms, chests out feeling important offering salutes to the nippers who were not gravel gazing. A few things wrong here - you return a salute to inferior ranks not offer one, and when you do, do it properly (fingertips brush cap peak, not 12 inches away; could just as well be pizza delivery boys. Except pizza boys have better uniforms).

And so to lunch, where I chose the wrong table to sit with. Deciding which group to join based on initial good posture backfired as I ended up next to lottery lunch germs lad, arm-hitting endurance test dummy and the unfunny fat girl comedian. At least my triple-hot shrimp curry looked as menacing as it tasted, and the turmeric rice with sultanas freaked on-lookers...what is it about dinner ladies? They sent a rep from the kitchen to have a look!

Quick - water that cabbage!

While I was enjoying my sweaty lunchbox, it also occurred to me that so far, I have not seen anyone chugging back meds or taking time-outs for allergies, claiming special diets or otherwise being particularly picky. Quite the opposite in fact - eat your food and very little sympathy. In another lifetime I worked in a kitchen in a children's summer camp in the USA. Mealtime was Smartie time, and the busiest place to be the dispensary.

As the minibuses drove out to a 'farm' this afternoon, I was in the rear jump-seat - and increasingly wound up as my arm-hairs got pulled, orifices challenged & generally groped. For all the effort of the trip out to Misato village, we spent 5 minutes picking a cob of corn each and so many educational opportunities went begging. The unoccupied kids watered a line of cabbage, but why not explore/draw all the other stuff we can see? Make the most of the location and the local knowledge - the old aproned lady who was lurking when we arrived, perhaps? The walnut tree she was standing under was well worth a story...

Starting to think a lot of window dressing going on & not so much consideration about the educational content.

Birthday propoganda & marching blues

Let's get this right - practice til we blister in the sun

Today was 'birthday day' - monthly event to celebrate the children who get a year older in September. My first time 'on show' and not at all sure what is going to be asked of me...but just sure that I was going to be asked to do something. A battery of mummy hens with camera phones & video cameras poised, and on top of that two photographers familiar for the stock shots.

Fortunately the Chief elected for Head & Shoulders - which is pretty much banned at my school as is far too passe...every child in the country already knows it. Having said that, without ever doing this song together before, we all looked pretty organised!

Learning Sports Day lines

The Chief made her speech in the hall - she's good at this, commanding authority as only matrons can! The classroom teachers officially introduced themselves (to me, in English - but also very much 'on the spot'). As the children sang the outro, Chief & co gave mums a present (identical & properly wrapped - important here!) and then explained what it was before they could rip into them - and an explanation on how to use an ornamental tissue box holder!

Mums then adjourned to their beloveds' classrooms, and partook of the celebration - a little different in each case I think, as teachers did their party piece. I saw birthday boys & girls choose an apple (picture) from the wall, which had a pair of questions for mums & tanjobi ones to answer. Nice idea - have I seen this in a game show somewhere? In the midst of organising the audience, controlling the game, managing the stage and being on best behaviour for mums, the teacher still got her bottom very accurately poked. I think the lack of reaction helps explain my predicament - mercilessly jumped at, headbutted, mauled, Chinese burned, mauled, molested, rammed...and so far nobody has suggested that this behaviour is even slightly out of order.

Party piece done, teacher's set piece speech to the newly birthdayed children - or more accurately, for the glorification of said child with mum's glowing approval & the reflected benefit of the school...oops I am thinking with PR hat on (but I know much better ways to share all of this, you know. I've got apps & LMS ideas buring a whole in my phone). Clincher is the child + teacher photo...pet of the year status on the mantelpiece.

Got to know your group - colour coding & then some!

After lunch today I got the distinct impression we were practicing making lines for that perfect home video collection next week at Sports Day...a more sinister interpretation would be a totalitarian undercurrent that often accompanies things like marching. But I am only 6 - while we were waiting I nevertheless did not enjoy the shirt-lifting which I could not prevent. Maybe this is how judo got invented?

Certainly today was the battle of Grazed Knee, Rolling in the Gravel, and growly whistle blowing. Being seen to have fun on the big day is taking all our time to prep every aspect...so what about the 'sport'! Left right, left right....

Assembly practice

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An agricultural field trip - rice harvesting

In long-sleeve dress today, toting my wellies as well for an early start - rice picking detail.

Actually ashamed to admit I have never been near the business end of rice production; have fallen into one or two paddis, but this will be my first time in daylight!

One thing I do not get, though, is why we were driven a good 40 kilometres up into the hills and half way to the next city along the expressway. It's not as thought there aren't a few thousand rice fields in the immediate vicinity of the school (and one of the Directors owns a farm - I'm sure he wouldn't mind some cheap labour!)
What a mad idea, then!?

Role model or stereotype?  Mild Seven Man

Ah, it's a media idea...several photographers awaiting us as we pulled up to a commercial rice picking field. A petting zoo kind of thing, only with our favourite ceral instead of animals. Kids organised into lines to bow & chant greetings to another kindy group, who return the compliment. As a long, slow moving snake we cross the mountain road that bike riders love to thrash with its rolling curves; fortunately none today. Ushered up a boggy path to find a few old blokes taking a break chugging on Mild Sevens, oblivious to 80-odd pairs of little lungs nearby. Why would they think my Japanese likely to be better than all the locals in a line? Put me in a tough spot as my brief is to not speak Japanese...did my best!

As this was obviously a BIG DEAL - highlighted on the calendar & reminders all last week, I really thought this was going to be a getting down & sweaty kind of day. Silly me. I was beckoned to lend an adult hand, showing my classmates how to cut rice with a scythe. Yes, we do this a lot in Sheffield, so no problem. Erm. 15 of my mates at a time were frog marched along the side of the somewhat typhoon battered field (yesterday storm did a lot of damage further south and west) at a time, buddying up with a big person.

Nearly in the field

Grab a handful of stalks near the base in left hand, one nice slice with the small hand-held scythe below that, and you should have a small sheaf of freshly harvested rice to place on the grass verge.

Now, how do you say all that in a way a 5 year old will comprehend while ankle deep in mud with a small but keenly sharp scythe in your hand (and more worryingly, theirs!) and they have no idea how a) rice grows b) scythes work c) boots operate in sticky mud d) quickly a knicked artery will have you in strife! My buddy cutter had no idea what I was on about & started trying to sever his arm at the wrist, fortunately with the backside of his scythe. Plop. Bum in mud. Frantic waving of scythe hand as boots stuck (see c)...just vertical in time to hear "OK, your turn has finished"

Quickly - Peppa Pig shows are longer than your turn!

Off the gallant 1st XV trooped to be replaced by the next team. What? Wait up. We are going to get one, 4 minute turn here? We drove all this way, all revved up & a whole field to go at, and we get one poxy go? I won't even get a sweat on and I was so looking forward to doing a Harrison Ford in Witness... Every child had a turn, slashing a few fronds but, importantly being caught in delecto by the photographers (some nice lenses on display) especially near me (ah, my role explained).

Not even a packed lunch? We are going back to school now? Come on guys, there's a beautiful lake at the top of the hill. Think sandwiches, day trip?

We spent more time in the car park hosing down muddy boots (Peppa Pig anyone?) than we did in the actual paddi. The minibus drivers watched with hawkeyes, lest a fleck of mud make any sign of approaching the sparklingly clean vehicles (look nice, chaps, but where are the seatbelts, roll cage etc). And so the drive back to curry & rice at base.

Somewhat of a missed opportunity, methinks! Where was the chat from a farmer, or explanation of the growing cycle? Irrigation & drying process? Show how the new harvesters work? See what the actual rice looks like? Collect samples, draw a picture, English words like 'hold', 'cut', 'be careful', 'left/right hand'...

Guess I shouldn't be grumpy; I was invited along & I joined in. Part of the moulding exercise.

If you can't sing...shout!

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Which group am I in?

Where is my line?!

As nominated 'big kid' I got to go and fetch the ball when the goal-keeping team (3 less mobile kids, shall we say) hoofed the football out of the playground. I was very impressed the posse did not chase after it or me, but understood RULE 1 = "Do not chase a ball into the street!"

I spent today with the blue class, again a mix of older & younger children who again did a rotating classroom thing & completely confused me - who is my group? Important that, isn't it? Which kid do I need to follow/copy to get things right & not get lost & laughed at?

The sports day practice a case in point. We kept marching places in lines, beeping whistles punctuating mysterious moves & changes of direction. Imaginary lines as well as some chalk ones in the yard. I used to be in the cadets but this was way harder (knees up & micro steps!).Who do I follow?! Arranged by height - I can handle that but I just lost the kid who seemed to know which way to go - now I've got an unidentified dribbly girl holding my hand like she'll never let go!

Granny & Grandpa portraits

Do I need to practice rolling in the gravel, sensei? I've got a hospital appointment at 4 then classes til 10...don't look at me like that! Oh dear, kid standing by puddle felt obliged to lie down & roll in it - pretty funny & reminds me of a Club Med incident in Noumea...now that was a cool job, drifts off for a moment.

Lunch and selected to be a 'Toban". Don't know what the words are when we have to chant whatever - smile :) Deliver food to hungry mites and get quite a lot of thank you's. Could do this quicker guys? Sweet chicken curry - not my fave but I'm famished. Cucumber in vinegar? Bring it on. At least I did not have to do the pillion position for 45 minutes, waiting, open-mouthed...

Paint it Black

Grandparents: couldn't really contribute to this well-run teacher-led chat (as mine are not going to be visiting next month for open day). My roomies offered up ideas for presents they could give gran & gramps for coming, negotiating towards making portraits of them after discarding some rather cute ideas along the way. Crayons ready: go! I mingled & monitored, this activity had my mates very engaged (mostly), and all schools of art represented. Ohh! Watercolours too? Again, remarkable lack of carnage or catastrophe - as well some hefty self-restraint I think on behalf of les artistes!

Again, this activity was brief & results collected by teacher for work later...drying on the piano. "Can you sing us a song?" No. But, I found a cable to plug my iPod into your CD player - wanna try?

Super Simple Songs' "Walking Walking" got its first outing...killer success, starting quietly and demands for a replay :) Ask nicely, perhaps? Never done this with 36 kids before...No problems - we've got that school show in Feb covered already!

So I could make my way come gravel-free. Ah, but I got sunburnt instead? Ow, my neck!

Storytime - I want to try!

Wet paint!

Are you all sitting comfortably?

Today's dilemma is "Should I shave my arms & legs?" but I may be a bit late already...today I was a swing, and all the hairs on my forearms have been pulled out by endless chinese-burn torturers! As for my legs, well having a kid dangling in each arm does make you a bit defenceless - who knew little girls could be so clever at inflicting pain?!

The drizzle at the gate greeting this morning lent itself to a fun new topic - colours, of boots & brollies, many bearing Thomas the Tank Engine; a few frogs, one bumble bee. No Unmentionable Mouse or Hello Kitty...one of the mums obviously wanted to talk to me, which was a bit disconcerting (I'm new here - what are the rules, please!) as I have nowhere to hide! School-gate bullying is not something I've thought of before...

I want to plug my iPod into the school PA, so we can have a theme song for the arrivee. Mine today would be "How's the Weather?" (OUP Let's Sing, Let's Chant 1), a favourite of mine ever since a silly Kiwi teacher did the most ridiculous bicycle dance thing to show "It's sunny". One song a day would have us quite a catalogue by the end of my Tour of Duty! I wonder if they are technically savvy here? They do have a fish worth Y80,000 in the entrance fish tank...

We practiced four or five songs for the camping trip tomorrow (I'm not invited?) sitting down neatly; the class monitor ("toban") made sure I had my hands behind my back. This is a stress position! Tiniest wooden chair possible, bum aching, knees by my chin (hair being pulled from thinghs) and hands behind my back? No wonder I've got the stiffest neck imaginable. Could barely stand up after that!

Risky business

The very brave teacher explained that we were going to do hand painting in large groups around tables. Carnage, surely?! Big piece of paper, dollop of paint in a bowl, "Do your worst!". I don't know many DELTAs or PhDs for this kind of teaching exist...but the penny dropped for me as this teacher ma

naged the room, not the kids; peer pressure works a treat, especially here where we all have to be team players - start & finish together, share & share alike. End product not really important, but achieved as everyone did their bit...teacher intervenes to whole class if something somewhere not going the way it should be = odd one out identified by the other 31 kids and brought into line. Clever. My metalanguage could do with this implant. However, the activity was really short...an ongoing project I can see, but for all the effort (and risk!) not much immediate pay off for the kids.

Any hand-painting or messy primary colour activity > use "What colour is it?"  (Everybody Up 1 from OUP)

The best bit was washing up though, pushing to get to the front = you got blue or yellow paint dribbled in your hair. "Clean up" song (Super Simple Songs) would work here. Can I go to my adult class looking like arterial splatter this evening?

The teacher was busy cleaning up while free/undirected arts/crafts took place as quiet time. This is where my hairs were torn out endlessly - I'm rubbish at drawing and all I can make with plasticene ("Nendo") is sausages!

Blues brothers, and sisters

The lunch marathon did my head in. Some of my classmates were even flakier than me after sitting there ("hands behind back" the little sergeant major kept drilling me every time he went past!) looking but not touching as the bowls were delivered, apparently at random but looked more like friends first? Did I want a large serving of unidentified egg/nut pie & blueberry goop? Give it a go, as I'm starving & hometime hours off! One of the serving girls kept giving me the eye & flouncing in front of me!

The remaining hairs on my wrists disappeared after lunch. I'd sat with the quiet table because they were well-behaved & we'd read a book together earlier. My compromise "We'll play later" with the noisy boys back-fired. They ate quickly to maximise our quality time together!

In the big hall I licked my wounds as some leaping dance with maracas was drilled. Aerobics too? I want to play outside (it stopped raining ages ago). Silly dance 2? I need a ball to get me interested.

Hats on - time to go home!

We were finally allowed out & I found my crew by the gate. Muddy socks but maybe my evening class won't notice? Flashback to Worksop primary school where we used to use a medium-sized stone on a blacktop playground - no such thing as a long ball to the big kid goal-hanging. You had to dribble & pass short. Oops. I just nailed annoying kid from lunch time (hair remover) between the eyes with a lob that went a bit lower & harder than intended. Erm.

Finally, finally, I could hang out with the Principal & the grown ups again, saying hello/goodbye at home time. My stalker reappeared with a friend. Oh no, this has Glenn Close written all over it. Please high five me kids, keep me busy a bit longer?

My first day:don't kick the dinner ladies.

My only vivid memory of kindergarten (or pre-school as I think it was called where I was - Belfast, Northern Ireland) was of kicking a poor dinner lady in the head when she & her white-coated gang tried to wrestle me back into the buildings...I was waiting for my mum to come & pick me at lunch-time as usual and she was late, and it was snowing...I didn't know I was big enough to stay all day! Boy, did I wail.

So today was a day full of memories, as it was my first day back!

My daughter gave me plenty of advice last night, must important was "smile & try to make friends". My son thinks I must be a bit thick, if I have to go to the same kind of class as he does! Squeels of delight sticking my little name tags on my cup & eating stuff this morning. Off big daddy went to the little school.

Now, I have been in kindy classes before, as a drop in 'superstar' for an hour or so over the years, lead a few activities and not have to deal with much else. We have also run a fully English pre-school at my school - but I thought I'd changed my last nappy. Hmm. For the next six months, I am going to be embedded with the troops three times a week, subverting the little nippers with English as we go through a regular day in the life. So, Secret Big Kid vs 120 or so...trying not to speak Japanese (that's the easy part for me!).

So, how did Day One go?

• Stiff neck & back from teeny furniture
• Headache from loud, loud shouting & dehydration (left my water bottle on my bike)
• Bruised nethers from constant groping, misplaced elbows/shoulders/heads

I was actually surprised how little teaching actually happened. There was a lot of doing things together; one table were dinner monitors & responsible for delivering servings of meat & veg stew, rice, miso soup to each person (much mirth as I was given a king-sized portion)...this took over half an hour, and was in the classroom (not a dinner room). The children waited very patiently until they could start. Once finished though, they could amuse themselves & wander about (mostly to see what I was doing) but were very good about putting their plates & things away. Must finish the rice, I remember being told!

In the yard welcoming kids & parents as they arrived  & left is obvious PR. Being tugged in 35 different directions by kids wanting to play was hard - and the swings etc just a wee bit too small for me to tackle. And my own tackle was constantly in danger with my hands held & someone tugging my shorts down...goalkeeper seemed a good way to engage many in the playground and have an excuse to jump around a bit!

Sense of musical classrooms as half the groups seemed to be rotating into other classrooms to join in activities (& mixing age groups)...

• musical chairs (but teacher plays the music on a piano, back to room - a classroom management difference for me, as I'd use a popular/target song on CD & use a remote to free me up to disentangle before tears arise). 
• Another room = learning an action dance for the school show (I think) with 60+ and a very engaging teacher who clearly can handle children well. Put on the spot to do a song/dance myself = "If you're happy".
• In the playground practicing stretching & running races (memo to self = do not tear a hamstring, you old fart - which I did very badly at the Korean school a few years ago!). Covered in gravel...
• 'free' play time in the classroom after lunch which was undirected but remarkably calm

Before hometime, the whole school welcomed me in the school hall, and the teachers introduced themselves in English. Put on the spot again to intro myself &amp; 'do something' - quick Simon says and then high fives (and low blows) with many. Wave goodbye to everyone, and then breathe!

I needed a nap after all that - no wonder the kids usually do. For me, a lot of nervous energy not knowing what I was supposed to be doing...at least I didn't have to be doing any growing up in the process, manage relationships or defend myself (against bigger kids, anyway!), change my pants in the room or have a big cry. Neither was I required to manage any of the teaching stuff, which as I hinted at earlier = crowd control (one to 30+) rather than any intense teaching.

Why is Daddy going back to kindy?

So after my first day, I didn't kick anyone in the head: tick. A couple of girls latched onto me: tick. Finished my rice: tick. Didn't cry: tick.

But...can barely remember any names, left my lunch stuff on the shoebox. And Day Two is always harder, right?